Being a mom (of a newborn especially) is like being a zombie

May 4

Scary-looking, brainless, the walking dead...these are all words that could describe a zombie OR the mother of a newborn baby. Now hear me out before you stop reading in a huff. When I had my first baby, I was very scary-looking for probably the first month. I know some moms don't ever go through this phase, but I'm going to be honest and say, I did. (Still do sometimes when all three boys have the stomach flu or some bug).

 I remember one late night walking by a mirror and seriously scaring myself with my reflection. I hadn't done my make-up in weeks, my hair in days...I'm not sure how long it had been since I had showered. I hadn't slept for longer than three hours at once, and I the dark circles and bags under my eyes were evidence of this. I was pale and exhausted and pasty and exhausted...and did I mention that I was exhausted?

I was also brainless. My sister mentioned the other day that some study found that pregnancy brain can last almost two years after having the baby. I believe that this is due to the scientific fact that babies in utero devour your brain cells, and everyone knows that you can't grow new ones. Add the lack of sleep, extra demands, and hormones, and I think it's a miracle that women even remember how to breathe. Was it breathe in or out first? I never can remember. I mean, I have a master's degree, but for awhile there, I could barely make complete sentences or use words with more than one syllable.

As for being feeling like the walking dead, I think that's the best description of what it feels like when you're a sleep-deprived, over-stressed new mommy. Some writer friends and I were into writing zombie haiku, and this is some of my zombie haiku written on the edges of the nursing chart that I used to keep track of things (that was when I had my first baby and thought I could be all organized like that--I kept track of how long he nursed, number of dirty diapers...needless to say, it didn't last long). Anyway, here's the tender thoughts I had in the middle of the night while nursing:

With dragging footsteps
In the middle of the night
Time for feeding.

Mom with no make-up--
A hideous sight to see,
Looks like a zombie.

Dark circles under eyes--
Resembling the living dead;
Not zombie--Mombie!