Learning to Hold On

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This is a book that I've been working on. I think/hope it's finally done. It's something that I've been thinking about for quite a long time. Let me know if you might be interested in purchasing a copy. (I'm self-publishing!) Also let me know if you see any editing issues.

Happy Veteran's Day

The kindness of a stranger

I will catch-up someday, but for now I will share a moment from today.
Sometimes (daily), I have these what-were-you-thinking motherhood moments. Today's great idea was to take the boys for a walk. We needed some groceries, the boys needed some fresh air, and it would kill some time before nap time (less time for Sam to destroy the house keeps the mom/maid happy). The grocery store is only about a mile from the house, and it seemed like nice weather. This all sounds good, hypothetically. I did not take into account the force or direction of the wind, however. As we made our way uphill toward the grocery store with a strong wind pushing against us, it felt like a major feat to push the stroller even one foot forward. Let it be noted that the stroller is like a tank and weighs about 130 lbs with Sam and the baby strapped on it.
So picture rosy-cheek Sam up front laughing into the wind, baby Mark on the back all bundled up in his carseat, and me huffing and puffing while pushing with all of my strength against the wind, tears streaming down my face and sweat running down my neck. I was starting to wonder what I was thinking when a car pulled up next to me. This guy explained that he had seen me crossing the road and that he wanted to thank me for all the hard work mothers do. Then he handed me five dollars and told me to treat myself and my kids to lunch or something. I was so taken aback by this stranger's kindness that I didn't know what to say. But I thanked him and smiled against the wind all the way to McDonald's where Sam discovered the joy of Happy Meals and an indoor playland.
On the way home, we crossed paths with an older gentleman who stopped me and, pointing to the boys, said, "This is what is important in life. Don't forget it." He gave my arm a squeeze and then was gone.
Did these two men know that yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed and burned out as a mommy? No, but Someone did. And I am so grateful for the encouragement. I hope all moms out there get this encouragement when they need it because being a mom really is something special. And you know, sometimes those what-were-you-thinking motherhood moments can turn out pretty darn good!

A Birth Story

Mark Emmitt Clay
born August 23, 2011
7 lbs 4 oz, 20 inches long

It has been a month since baby Mark was born, but here is the story of his grand entrance into the world (to the best of my recollection).

Let's begin this story the day before his birth. It was August 22nd, and I was a hormonal, emotional wreck. Because my little brother was getting married on Sept. 9th and giving me only two weeks from birth to wedding, and because Sam had shown up after his due date, we decided to induce on our due date. We could have been induced a week earlier, but I wanted to give the baby his full time in "Casa de Mama". For some reason, knowing the date and time of going into labor was really freaking me out. The baby was following the same patterns as Sam did in his final weeks...basically my boys like my luxurious womb (I'm pretty sure there is a big flat screen in there along with a Love Sac and possibly a pingpong table, thus explaining my enormous belly), and aren't in any rush to drop down and get into position for birth. Back to the emotional wreck. Nanny Manda was witness to my wreckage. She had arrived the week before to stay with us and help take care of Sam. I think she ended up taking more care of me! A bit of advice--the post-partum chapter in What to Expect When You're Expecting that everyone tells you not to read until after you have the baby should really not be read before you have the baby. I read it the day before and suddenly all the memories of the 'after' having a baby came flooding back. So the silly thing was I wasn't terrified about the labor and delivery (give me an epidural, and I'm fine), but instead, terrified about all the after stuff. I was a walking zombie after I had Sam. I was really sore, sleep deprived, and completely shell shocked by the big changes in my life. I think quitting my job as a teacher and becoming a stay-at-home mom was a bigger adjustment than I had anticipated. And I think I had some bouts of post-partum depression that manifested as paranoia to leave the house and insane insecurities about my abilities to be a good mother. And did I mention that I was really, really sore?

Anyway, these memories left me sobbing at the kitchen table on and off through out the day. I remember touching my giant belly through out the day and thinking, "In ____ hours I am going to meet this little guy". It was hard to think about anything else. I also kept hoping that I would just go into labor naturally, but that just wasn't happening. For my last supper as a pregnant woman, Nanny made us Hawaiian Haystacks (yummy and light), and then we spent the evening watching Soul Surfer and trying really hard not to think about the next day.

D-day: August 23, 2011
I had to call the hospital at 7:00 a.m. to find out if they had room for me to come in and to find out what time to come in. They told me to come on in. I got up and quickly got ready. It was so surreal to think that I was getting ready to go have a baby. And I remember not being very patient with Nic. It seemed like it was taking him forever to get ready! Nic gave me a priesthood blessing and then we said an emotional good-bye to Sam. The poor kid was probably so confused by all the tears. It was scary and exciting for me to think about how our little family of three was soon going to be forever changed.

We arrived at the hospital, and I continued to feel like I was in this surreal state of mind. It was so weird to think I was casually going to the hospital to have a baby much like if we were going out to grab a bite to eat. We got checked in, I changed into the figure-flattering hospital gown, and we were ready to go, physically anyway. First thing up: the IV. The first attempt, the nurse, Heather, struggled to find a good, strong vein. I have the worst veins! And I am a wuss. The second attempt was successful until I jerked my hand away and pulled out the IV. On the third attempt, we got it and I held really still. But then I started to feel really woozy. I told Heather that I didn't feel very good. The last thing I remember was her saying something about a cool washrag. The next thing I remembered was waking up with a cool washrag on my head, and Nic saying something about not falling off the bed. Apparently I went as white as the sheets and passed out. "Great!" I thought. "If I can't even handle the IV, how I'm going to deal with the labor?!"

I was hooked up to the monitors to watch my heart rate and the baby's. And they began the Pitocin. Around noon, they broke my water. That was such a weird experience because I think my water didn't break until I was pushing with Sam. It just felt like I was continually peeing my pants. I kept apologizing to the nurse because I wasn't sure that I wasn't. She kept reassuring me that I was fine and that it was all part of her job. Wow, nurses are incredible people! I can't imagine dealing with what they deal with on a daily basis!

Shortly after that, the anaesthesiologist came in to do my epidural. She was good at what she does! I was a little nervous about the epidural and was trying to decide if I should wait until the contractions got a little stronger before getting the epidural. I remember with Sam that the contractions were painful enough to distract from getting a huge needle in my back. But once I was dilated to a three, I decided that that was enough. I was starting to remember just how bad contractions get as you climb that dilation scale and decided that I really didn't want to feel that again. We explained to the anaesthesiologist what happened the last time with my heart rate dropping and me passing out, we told her that I had already passed out once that day, and she put together my very own special "starter" epidural that worked perfectly. No passing out and no pain. Yay! After the epidural was in place, we began our waiting game.

Our nurse, Heather, was amazing! She was a lot of fun, encouraging, and calming. She was spunky and kept giving us a hard time because we didn't have a name for the baby yet. She was sure that the baby didn't want to come out because we didn't have a name for him. "I'm just going to call the little guy Mutt then!" She told us and then spent the rest of the time cheering Mutt on to make his big arrival. However, the baby had other plans. Every time I would have a real strong contraction, the baby's heart rate would drop. I felt like that scene from E.T. where Elliott and E.T. are both sick. Just before the baby's heart rate would drop, I would feel a little woozy and my heart rate would go down a little. We ended up decreasing and increasing the Pitocin over the next several hours. Once again, we were going for a longer labor.

Nic's parents dropped in a couple of times during that time and my mom was there. Nanny Manda was home with Sam waiting for the cue to come to the hospital. My doctor's office is on the third floor of the hospital, so he was able to drop in occasionally and check on me. Mostly, we just sat there and waited. I was feeling anxious about the baby. I didn't like watching his little heart rate drop so much. I just wanted him to come out and to know that he was okay.
At some point, Nic and his dad gave me a blessing. It was interesting because with Sam, I was given a blessing and instantly things started to working out and Sam was ready to come out. This time, however, it wasn't an instant answer. But I did receive instant comfort and strength. We still had a bit of a long road ahead of us, but I knew that it would all be okay. Another interesting fact: the most recent scripture story I had read was in Mosiah in the Book of the Mormon where it talks about two different groups of people that were in bondage. One group prayed to escape from bondage and were immediately given divine help to escape. The other group also prayed to escape bondage but instead of immediate delivery (I could make a pun here with my situation that I'm comparing to...), "the Lord did ^astrengthen them that they could bear up their ^bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with ^cpatience to all the will of the Lord." Through the rest of the delivery, I still worried when I would see the baby's heart rate go down, but I also just felt a great peace that we were being watched over.

Finally, around 6:00 p.m., the doctor and nurse decided to try and challenge the baby. We would keep the Pitocin and contractions going and really watch the baby's heart rate. Everything really picked up at this point. The doctor decided we were going to need to use the baby vacuum and so all of a sudden all this equipment arrived in the room. Kind of a funny story--I had decided when I first found out that I was pregnant, that for the delivery, I just wanted Nic, me, and the hospital staff in the room. I didn't want any family in the room, because I wanted some time with the new baby, just us. I had informed all of our family of this plan, but I think my mom was trying to override it. When things were starting to pick up, I noticed her sitting quietly to the side. I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I also really wanted the time alone with the baby. So I told Nic to tell her that she needed to leave (the joy of delegation!). Nic turned to my mom and said, "Mom, you've been voted off the island!" I had thought he would have done it a little nicer! Oh well. My mom looked slightly irked, but she left. The doctor told me to push while he tried to position the baby and bring him down. So I did some pushing. The doctor did one little suck with the vacuum, and suddenly told me to stop pushing. Apparently, the baby was out! While I thought we were still just positioning, I delivered the baby. He just popped out after only ten minutes of pushing. We discovered the reason that he didn't want to drop down and why his heart rate kept dropping was because his umbilical cord was wrapped twice around his neck. Whenever a contraction would push him down, it would tighten up the cord. What a miracle that he came out okay! Nic cut the cord and then we got to cuddle with our new beautiful baby and take some pictures. He was such a beautiful baby. Baby Arliss was born with a head full of platinum blonde hair. All of the nurses kept commenting on his hair. I guess it's common for dark haired babies to have lots of hair, but not blondies. Nic says that he was born already needing a haircut!
Heather ran interference for us with the anxious family outside the door by telling them that the room needed to be cleaned up before anyone could come in. Nic and I spent half an hour with our new son just loving him and welcoming him to the world. It was wonderful! We sang I Am a Child of God to him and told him all about his new family. It's always such a surreal experience to meet your baby for the first time, to meet the little one who has been growing and kicking and wiggling inside of you for the past few months. And you really can feel the bits of heaven still clinging to a new baby. It's hard to describe the feeling. And it's amazing the love that you feel. I mean I love Nic so much and I love Sam with all of my heart and somehow I love this new little guy with all of my heart too. You never realize how much you can love until you're holding that new little one in your arms.



Pretty soon it was time to introduce the baby to his family. Once they were allowed in, they exploded in! Both sets of grandparents were there along with Nanny Manda and Sam. Sam wasn't too sure of what to make of all of it. He was happy to see Nic and me again and was really clingy with me. He could tell something big had happened. He just wanted to sit on my lap and be held. At first, he really didn't want to have anything to do with the baby. Then he wanted to hold him, but only for two seconds. Then he would yell out, "Noooooo! Mommy!" So he might not look too excited in those first family pictures. After the initial meeting, Sam discovered there were lots of buttons to push in the room, so he was a happy camper again.

After the family left, Nic's brother, Mark and his wife, Elivania, showed up for a visit. It was fun to introduce the baby to his namesake. We had decided at the beginning of my pregnancy that we wanted to include Mark's name in the baby's name. We hadn't decided on any of the particulars yet, but we did get to tell Uncle Mark that this new little guy was going to be named after him. I think that Uncle Mark was thrilled (though Uncle Mark's thrilled is hard to recognize--he has a great poker face!). Once they left, we gave the baby his first bath. This was around 11 pm, and we were all exhausted at this point. Heather was so sweet. She stayed hours after her shift was over just to make sure the baby was okay and to make sure we were all set up and good to go. Nic finally left to go home and take a shower. He was planning on coming back, but ended up falling asleep laying across the bed with one shoe on and the other still in his hand and didn't make it back until the morning. Because Sam had ended up in the NICU, I was determined to have the baby with me in the room the entire time this time around. But then I ended up being so exhausted and he kept choking on left-over amniotic fluid, so the nurse asked me if I wanted to send him to the nursery, and I conceded. We were all pretty much exhausted from such a long, wonderful day!

So that's about it. That's the baby's birth story. Here's just a couple of highlights from our hospital stay though:
-Nic attended a breastfeeding class with me the next morning, and I really feel like that made such a difference. Baby and I were able to get off to a great start with nursing, and I think Nic's support and help was a big factor in that.
-We loved all the family and friends who visited. We had so much fun showing off our new little one!
-The hospital gave us a fancy dinner one night with a decorated table, good food, and carbonated apple juice in champagne glasses to celebrate our new baby.

-ALL of our nurses were AWESOME. We didn't have even one not-nice nurse.
-And, of course, the photographer came around to take the baby's picture, and we ended up spending lots of money because 1) hospital baby pictures have come a long way since the baby mugshots of my day, and 2) our baby is absolutely adorable!

--The naming of the baby was quite the process. In fact, we ended up staying at the hospital two hours after we were discharged because we couldn't leave without giving them the baby's name for the birth certificate. We wrote down the names on the nurse's white board in the room and slowly whittled the list down to the top ten and then the top five and then the top three. It was quite the ordeal. Like I mentioned earlier, we knew we wanted to name the baby after his Uncle Mark and we knew we wanted to name him after his Uncle Clay (our good friend who is more like family). With Sam, we gave him two middle names, after both grandpas, because we wanted to honor both grandpas and weren't sure if we would have anymore children. We decided that having three names will be our own little tradition in our family. And so we needed a third name for the baby. We finally decided on Mark Emmitt Clay. Emmitt isn't a family name or anything; it's just a name we liked, and I like that it gives the baby a little bit of his own uniqueness. I think Sam's name sounds like a politician or lawyer or something like that. Mark's name sounds like a movie star. We'll see someday! For now, he is my little movie star, and my wonderful, sweet miracle.


Going home:

When we got home, we were surprised to find that Nanny Manda and Sam had decorated the front yard to welcome us home and had gifts and balloons for the new baby.

I'm still alive!

From the looks of this blog, it appears that I've fallen off of the face of the earth, but, no worries, I'm still alive. Just nine months pregnant (which is the equivalent of falling off of the face of the earth). I remember a few months after I had Sam, it was like coming out of this fog, and suddenly I was finding out all of these things that happened over the past months while my world was completely devoted to baby--waiting for baby, having baby, caring for baby, loving baby. I was amazed to discover that the rest of the world didn't stop just because I quit paying attention to it. So-and-so got married?! Who died?! There was a war?! What?! I have a feeling it is happening again. I am withdrawing into my little cocoon, and it is hard for me to think about much except for this giant belly of mine, and the much-anticipated little guy who will hopefully arrive sooner rather than later.

Things are going really well. It has been a busy summer. Having had Sam in the fall, I did not realize that it would be significantly different, and more difficult, to be at the end of my pregnancy in the summer. Mind you, it has been a mild summer for the most part, but it is crazy how much the heat just zaps my energy levels. Poor Nic. This is what it is like at night: I crank the AC down to an obscenely low number, crawl into bed, and drape as much of my body as I can toward the vent at the head of our bed. I don't even like to have a sheet covering me because it's too hot (much to the feasting joy of the three mosquitoes that currently dwell in my room and whom I have not been able to locate and kill. I am like a smorgasbord to them and look like I have the chicken pox or something). Meanwhile, Nic is bite-free because he is completely wrapped like a corn dog in all of the sheets and the quilt. Mind you, this is a guy who wears shorts in the winter. He doesn't get cold...usually. Then, if Nic even tries to cuddle with me or crosses the line onto my side with all of his body heat, I react with fists swinging. Through out the night, to add to Nic's sleeping pleasure, I flip-flop from one side to the other constantly, start kicking out wildly when I get charlie horses, and have to get out of bed numerous times through out the night to use the bathroom, which entails much effort and groaning. I guess if I'm not going sleep well, neither will he!

But the pregnancy is going well, and I can hardly wait to meet this little guy. The joys of having a newborn are starting to come back to me (the lack of sleep, the constant feedings, changings, etc.) but I'm also starting to remember and look forward to the absolute wonderfulness of holding a newborn baby, just arrived from heaven. As Wordsworth puts it:
Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

I love that phrase "trailing clouds of glory." And it is so true that heaven lies about a newborn. I just need to be patient, but I am so excited and can hardly wait! I've had a few nights of Braxton Hicks when I've thought that maybe it was time, but no such luck yet. Patience.
I don't think Sam realizes fully what is in store for him. Nic says that he almost likes it better not knowing what is in store with the labor and all of the first weeks adventures. I think Sam has an idea that something big is on the way, but he's not quite sure what. He has been getting a little more prone to tantrums lately, and I don't know if it's because he's nearing the terrible two's or if he's starting to anticipate his de-throning or if he's just stir-crazy from hanging out with his lazy momma all day. But even though he's begun the tantrum phase and even though he likes to yell 'momma' when he's mad or wants something (which is constantly), he's still completely adorable and wonderful. Here's a little update on Sam: I am amazed out how much he is learning and how quickly. He is in the mimic phase of life, our little parrot. He picks up new words every day. When he went in for his 18 month check-up, I made a list of words he knows and uses, and it was around 20 basic words. In just the few months since then, he's doubled his vocabulary, expanding to words like tractor, cookie, cracker, cool, hat, shoe, and hot. Funny story. He went and spent a few days with Grandpa Dee and Grandma M out in G-ville, and grandma introduced him to the joys of cookies. Ever since then whenever he sees my mom or hears her voice on the phone, he says, "Cookie!" So we call her Grandma Cookie now. Then a few days later, Grandma J was taking care of him and taught him all about crackers. So now she's Grandma Cracker!

Sam loves to be outside. We now have a wonderful new yard, thanks to my amazing husband. So in the afternoons, I'll turn Sam and Gus loose in the backyard, find a shady spot, and read or work on projects. Sam loves dirt, bubbles, trucks, and working on things. It's cute to watch how Sam tries to copy his daddy. He likes to use tools to work on things just like daddy does. I have to watch carefully though, because sometimes he uses his tools to dismantle things too. Yesterday Sam and Gus developed a new game where Sam pulls up some grass and then chases Gus around with it. Gus will run away from him and then turn around and charge at Sam. Gus will turn right before he reaches Sam, stop and bark at him, and start the whole game again. Sam just laughs and laughs. At first, mommy was a little freaked out that Gus had lost it and was going to hurt Sam, but then I figured out their little game.

Anyway, this is just a basic update. In my next post, I will either give some more specific updates of our summer adventures (with pictures), or I will be telling you all about our new arrival. Hopefully, the next post won't be months from now!

Pregnancy Phobias

I am a phobic person as is. Add pregnancy hormones, and I become borderline crazy with random fears. I think most women have their share of pregnancy phobias. I just like to take it the extra mile! For example, for some reason, when I can't get a hold of my husband right away, I instantly jump to the conclusion that he has been in a fiery car crash or something like that. This crazy fear had me close to tears about a month ago when Nic was a little late to a doctor's appointment and his phone battery had died. I don't know why I always jump to the worst case scenario, but I do! Sometimes a pregnant woman will become almost superstitious in her fears. If I hear that a friend ate a chocolate shake right before she went into pre-term labor, I won't touch a chocolate shake. And I have my share of good luck items that I hold onto and bad luck items that I avoid like the plague. Then there are all those rules and suggestions that are found in pregnancy books--from hot dogs to sandwich meats to lying on your back...when you're pregnant and have a little growing baby inside of you who depends on you, the world suddenly becomes a very scary place.
Well, today I overcame a fear. I went to the dentist. I know that pregnant women go to the dentist all the time, no big deal. I know that all the books say that visiting the dentist is a good thing. My doctor told me that it would be a good thing for me to do, and I trust my doctor. Fact: Gum disease can lead to pre-term labor and other problems. However, I have had this insane fear of going to the dentist. I didn't have this fear as a child necessarily. As a tween, I had braces and thus had monthly appointments with the orthodontist. This led to a great dislike of all things dental, but not an irrational fear. I will admit that shortly after I graduated from high school and flew the coop, I didn't go to the dentist again for over a decade. I will not incriminate myself by saying exactly how many years! I will also admit that I'm not the best at flossing, but I know that I'm not alone on that one! Finally, I went to the dentist when I was pregnant with Sam. I told the dentist how long it had been since I had seen a dentist, and he was very impressed with the state of my teeth, despite my lack of dental visits. No cavities. No problems. (In an attempt to make myself feel better about admitting to rarely going to the dentist and to keep you from thinking less of me, let it be noted that in a college science class we did the old swab your mouth and see what's growing under the microscope experiment, and the professor complimented me saying that "I had the cleanest mouth with the least amount of bacterias" he had ever seen. Just so you know!)
Anyway, when Sam was a few months old, I received a terrible text from one of my good friends that she had lost her baby at 28 weeks. I remember just holding Sam and crying. It was such a devastating thing to happen. This is when my fear of dentists was planted deep within my heart. The last time that she really remembered feeling the baby move was when she was at the dentist. She doesn't know why her baby died, and it is highly unlikely that it had anything to do with the dentist, however, right then and there I vowed never to see a dentist when I was pregnant.
But then I kept reading about the importance of seeing the dentist, and my doctor recommended it, and then my dentist sent me a postcard, and I was starting to feel like maybe I should just do it. I realized that my fear had no foundation and was irrational, but it didn't make it any easier to make that appointment. Finally, when my dentist's office randomly called me the other day to see if I wanted to come in for a check-up, I figured it was a sign that I needed to overcome my fear and just do it. So, this morning I brushed my teeth, flossed for the first time in a long time, had my husband say a prayer with me to calm my nerves, and headed off to the dentist. And, happily, all went well. It was actually a pleasant visit and once again, the dentist said everything looked great. No cavities. No problems. He told me to come back after I have the baby so that he can do some X-rays just to be sure, but, otherwise, things looked good. And as I sit here typing this, Arliss is kicking away. All is well. I feel like I have accomplished a great triumph today, though who knows what will come along next that will have me shaking in my boots!

The Real Man Card--A Father's Day Tribute

I meant to post this yesterday, but, as usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short! I have the most amazing father's in my life. First, my dad is just the BEST! I have always been a daddy's girl and looked up to my dad so much. He has been my chauffeur, my coach, my therapist, my chef, my entertainer, my protector, and most of all, my best friend my entire life. I love my dad so much! And he is one awesome grandpa! Sam loves his Gampa Dee!

I am also grateful for my father-in-law. He is definitely one-of-a-kind. My mother-in-law says that we aren't allowed to go look at horses together because we tend to come home with a horse or two! We don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but I think that butting heads every once-in-awhile just makes our relationship stronger. He is a great man, and I'm glad to have him for a father-in-law. Sam also loves his Papa J! He is so lucky to have two amazing grandpas that are such a big part of his life. I am lucky to have two amazing fathers in my life who are always there for me and my family!

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my husband? He is absolutely amazing! He is and always has been the perfect man for me. He is a spectacular husband and a completely amazing father. I knew I had a good catch when I started dating him, but I don't think I realized even on our wedding day what kind of man I really got. He continues to astound me every day. In honor of my wonderful husband, I wrote the following:

The Real Man Card

My husband often jokes (usually when I make him hold my flowery purse in public) that he has lost his Man card. In fact, he says that he can't even remember what his Man card looks like because he handed it over so long ago. In case you don't know, the Man card is all about muscles, testosterone, "smells like gas and goes fast" manhood. But I don't think he lost his Man card, he just upgraded it for a Real Man card.
Because a Real Man works hard for his family. He goes to work early, and when he comes home, there's still more work for him to do at the house. A Real Man wants to provide for his family the best he can, and he still wants to be there for his family. He works hard to find that balance, but it often costs him sleep and time for himself.
A Real Man loves his wife and only has eyes for his wife. He tells her she's beautiful, even when it's questionable if she still owns make-up or a hair brush. When he could be hangin' out with the guys, he'd rather spend the evening cuddling with his wife. When she's having a bad day, a Real Man throws in a chick flick, wraps his arms around his wife, and cuddles her blues away. The Real Man listens to his wife's ramblings and supports her dreams. He never puts her down, but, instead, is always there with his strong arms to lift her up and support her through good times and bad.
A Real Man can perform an expert pedicure on his wife when she's too pregnant to reach her toes. He rubs her back, even when his own muscles are tired and sore. He puts up with her pillow-tourage that crowds the bed each night, and he has learned to sleep with half of his body hanging off of the bed. The Real Man learns to make gourmet crepes because that's what his wife is craving. The Real Man can also braid hair, clean the house, and run a bubble bath at a moment's notice.
The Real Man still romances his wife no matter how many years they've been together. He still holds her hand and puts his arm around her in public. And he's still one mighty fine kisser. The Real Man is sexy to the core.
The Real Man still likes a fight every now and then, but it's usually protecting those he loves. The Real Man watches his temper and doesn't even get as mad as he used to when some idiot cuts him off on the freeway, especially when the family is in the car. The Real Man still likes adventure, but also realizes that the greatest adventure is being there for his family. The Real Man spends the money that would have gone toward some cool Jeep parts, or whatever else he's been eyeing, on a new yard for his children.
A Real Man isn't afraid to cry when he says good-bye to his dog or when he says hello to his newborn son. He can be tough and tender at the same time. And a Real Man doesn't mind mascara marks on his shoulder from his weepy wife. He's just always there with a shoulder to cry on.
The Real Man is an example to his children. He tries to watch his mouth, and to do things that will teach his son to grow up to be a Real Man. The Real Man sacrifices so much for his family. The Real Man changes poopy diapers and kisses booboos. He knows the words to all of his son's favorite songs...he can sing Skidamarink, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Pat-a-Cake for hours on end. The Real Man isn't embarrassed to sing a silly song, make a funny face, or do a crazy dance to cheer up his little boy. The Real Man takes his son and the dog on a walk early Sunday mornings, so that mommy can sleep in. The Real Man makes sure his wife and children know every day through his words and actions that he loves them more than anything else.
The Real Man is a husband, a father, and a friend. He is always putting others before himself. He loves God, and honors Him in the service and love that he gives to all those around him.

Come to think of it, not only does my husband now carry the Real Man card, I'm pretty sure it's the platinum edition! In fact, he has VIP status!

And, besides, Honey--what did the Man card get you anyway besides an arm ornament now and then, a handful of big boy toys, and a wild weekend here and there? Life is much better now! =)

My Real Man and my Lil' Man

**Nic read this over and says that I fibbed a little. He says that he still gets mad at the idiot who cuts him off in traffic. I told him that I said "as mad as he used to" and "especially with the family in the car". I know that he's not perfect, but he sure tries hard, and he's close enough for me! =)

Girl's Weekend Secrets Revealed...

What happens on girl's weekend, stays on girl's weekend...well, until it comes to this blog where I tend to reveal all! =)
Last year, I really wanted to go to Tuacahn in St. George, UT, and so I got my GF's together, and we hit the town. We had such a great time that we decided to make it a yearly tradition, a pilgrimage, if you will, to our feminine Mecca. Well, this year, we included some guys in our trip. This year Tuacahn is showing The Little Mermaid. The Little Mermaid is one of my dad's favorite Disney cartoons, so we decided to invite him to come along. And then we invited my uncle Allen so that my dad wouldn't be the only guy there. Then Felicia's dad really wanted to come, and then somehow Felicia talked my brother into coming. And of course, Sam came along. So we ended up having fourteen people on this trip: My amazing in-laws, Carol Lee, Holly, Heidi, and Elivania; my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Felicia, and her parents; my mom, dad, sister, and brother; my Uncle Allen and Aunt Suzy; and Sam and me. We were quite the mob!
We drove up Thursday afternoon. Usually it's about a four hour drive, but my uncle and dad joked that it took us seven hours with all the food breaks and potty breaks! We had a fun drive together though, chatting the whole way. Last year, we all stayed at the same hotel. This year we were spread out in three different condos. Next year I think we will definitely try to be in the same place again. We just didn't all hang out together like we did last year. But we had so much fun. We had dinner that evening at Texas Roadhouse (one of my favorite steak places). Sam ate three or four rolls and an entire half of a sweet potato (we would learn the next day that that was probably not a great idea...). Then we went back to our condos, and we watched a movie at our condo. Carol Lee, Holly, Heidi, Elivania, Amanda, Sam, and me all stayed in one condo. Amanda and Jason both had class that night so they didn't show up until about two in the morning. Felicia and Jason crashed at our condo Thursday night since they got in so late. I felt bad for Amanda and Felicia because they had to share a room with me, and between having a cold and being pregnant, I can out snore a foghorn! (Nic says my snoring in cute, but I think he only says that because he is insanely terrified of me when I'm pregnant).
The next morning (Friday), I got up when Sam got up (babies/toddlers don't know the sleep in on vacation rule!) and needed to run to the grocery store to buy some things for breakfast. Nanny Manda was also up, so she took care of Sam, while I jumped into my brother's car to run to the store. Well, it didn't go quite as smoothly as I had hoped it would. First, I couldn't figure out how to get the car unlocked and then the car is manual. I know how to drive a stick shift, so I didn't think this would be a problem. Wrong! I could not figure out how to reverse for the life of me. I would later learn that in this particular car, there is a little button on the shifter that you push for reverse. I had never heard of such things! I had to reverse to get out of the parking spot, so I ended up improvising. There was a slight incline into a ditch and an empty parking spot next to the car so I would roll back in neutral until the car stopped in the ditch and then pull forward and then roll back and then pull forward until I finally got the car turned enough that I could pull out of the spot going forward. And then I made sure not to park in any way that I would have to reverse again! My sister couldn't figure out why it took me so long to just run to the grocery store!
We spent most of the day lounging around and shopping. You cannot have a successful girl's weekend without shopping! I bought some summer clothes for Sam and a few adorable outfits for little Arliss. I also found a cute shirt that hopefully won't be too stretched out to wear after I have the baby. Amanda, Felicia, and I got matching sister bracelets (GF's need to have matching jewelry, it's a rule!) and the highlight for me was the cinnamon and white chocolate caramel apples that we purchased and devoured. My dad and uncle Allen weren't too keen on the shopping part of the trip. We thought they had dropped us off and went to do their own thing, but apparently they just sat in the parking lot for a couple of hours. Silly boys!
Oh, before we went shopping, we went to the St. George LDS temple just to walk around the grounds and go to the visitor's center. It was so pretty! And we got some adorable pictures of Sam!





After the temple and shopping, Amanda, Jason, Felicia, Sam, and I went back to the condo and went swimming in the outdoor pool. When we first went to get into the pool, we all realized what land-lovers we are. It wasn't a heated pool, so, to us, it was freezing! Probably most people who live in St. George, or hot places like that, appreciate a nice, chilly pool. Not us! Sam was the only one who didn't seem to mind it that much. It was weird to me to be cold in the water and hot when I got out of the water. Usually, it is the other way around. But we had fun splashing for a little bit...until our lips turned blue!

That evening was the big show. Part of the tradition, is that I make these gift bags for everyone. Last year we wore tiaras to the show. This year, since it was the Little Mermaid, I decided to go with a tropical theme. All the girls got a flower lei and a flower clip for their hair. The guys also got flower leis, and they came really close to getting seashell bras (I changed my mind last minute, unfortunately!). People kept commenting on our leis at the show. It was so much fun! We ate a delicious 'tropical' dinner at Tuacahn. It was really yummy! After dinner, when we were about to do group pictures, Sam had the first diaper blow out that he's had in a long time (this was due to the copious amounts of sweet potato the night before). But the show had to go on, so if in our group pictures, we all have funny looks, it's because Sam had a funny smell.
For the first time, Tuacahn offered a daycare, so after dinner, and after getting him cleaned up, Sam was off to daycare. Nanny Manda took Sam to daycare with me, and she was so cute. She was so concerned about everything. Have they done a background check on these people? Are they CPR certified? Will they provide wholesome activities? Etc. We dropped Sam off, and he didn't even say good-bye. He just started playing, and we were dismissed. They gave us a pager, like what you get at a restaurant when waiting for a table, and told us it would go off if there were any problems. As we were walking away, I looked over at Amanda and she was crying. It was her first time dropping Sam off somewhere! We decided to use the restroom before the show started, and as we were walking into the restroom, I was sternly saying, "You can't make a pregnant woman cry! Don't talk to me! Don't even look at me!" These women in the restroom were looking at me angrily because they just caught the tail end of what I was saying, and all they could see was this mean lady and a young girl in tears following after her. We still laugh about that!

The show was amazing. It was crazy what they pulled off with the special effects. At different points, the stage was covered in water, and for the underwater scenes, they had a screen of water that would come down and they could project images onto the water. Mind you, this was accomplished in an outdoor amphitheater in the middle of the desert! The actors did a fabulous job. Apparently, it was their first official run through with costumes and all the special effects because the dress rehearsal had been cancelled due to weather. The costumes were beautiful, and the production, as a whole, was creative and well-done. When I ordered the tickets, the show was almost sold out, so we could have got all of our group together on the very last row, or we could spread out in small groups in the best seats possible. I went with the second option. My in-laws were on the very first row, and apparently got a little wet and chilled through out the production. My mother-in-law even had a golden cup land in her lap when King Triton blew up Ariel's human stuff collection! I would have kept it as a souvenir, but she gave it back. =) After the show, following tradition, we stayed and took pictures with the cast. The boys were all done and ready to go, but tradition had to be maintained! We had a great time!






Saturday we were thinking of maybe going to Zion's National Park, but, instead, just headed home. We were all pretty much worn out from our adventures. Even Sam slept in until nine that morning, which is the latest he's ever slept! It took me a week just to recover! All in all, it was a great time. Next year, though, I think we'll go back to just the girls. The boys just couldn't keep up with all the shopping, matching accessories, and giggling. And we couldn't tell stories about them with them there! =) And I think this was Sam's last year. Next year, he can hang out with daddy. Maybe little Arliss will hang out with daddy too. We'll see!
So next year, it's 'off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz'!

Memorial Day Weekend

We had quite the adventure for Memorial Day weekend. Let's just call this adventure 'Our Redneck Vacation'! As you read on, you'll see why! =) On Thursday we went and picked up a rental trailer that Nic found on the internet. It was at a great price, and we didn't trust the weather to risk sleeping in a tent (and it's a good thing we didn't!). We affectionately called our trailer the 'Ghetto Trailer.' It was an old trailer but in excellent repair and very clean. Then Friday we packed up our Ghetto Trailer (home-sweet-home), and headed out to the middle of nowhere to go camping with Nic's side of the family. I don't know if it's just me nesting, but now I want a trailer of my own, even an old, ghetto trailer will do! As I was packing up the trailer, I was thinking how nice it would be to have our own trailer with our own camping dishes, blankets, and camping stuff already packed and ready. I love camping!

(The Ghetto Trailer)

Anyway, we didn't get to camp until late, so pretty much we just ate some warmed up dinner and then went to bed. I wondered how Sam would do sleeping in a trailer and camping. He loved it! Sam went right to sleep. Gus, however, had a hard time the first night. He cried most of the night and ran back and forth. Some time in the middle of the night, Gus needed to go out, and since I also needed the potty, I got up and let him out. I was standing outside watching him, when suddenly Gus just disappeared. It was dark and Gus is black, so it was hard to see if he was close or had run off. I half-whispered/called for him, but he wasn't coming back. So I went back into the trailer and woke Nic up. I was a little worried because Gus had never been camping before (he's kind of a city-dog). Sam had given us all a cold, so before bed, I had drugged everyone up with cold medicine. So waking Nic up was a little difficult. Finally, I shook him awake. Here's our conversation:
Me: Gus is outside but I don't know where he is. I need you to whistle for him.
Nic: Let me see if I've got this straight. Gus is outside and you don't where he is. And we need to whistle for him?
Me: Yes.
Nic: Do you want to do it, or do you want me to do it?
Me (in my thoughts): I just thought I would wake you up to come watch me whistle for the dog. It's going to be that spectacular.
Me (aloud): I don't know how to whistle, you know.
Nic: Oh.
Finally, a few minutes later, Nic gets up, whistles for the dog, and Gus comes trotting right back.

Saturday, we went for a walk, Sam and Nic shot Sam's BB gun, we went digging for trilobites, we ate good food, and we hung out and played games. We had a lot of fun. We discovered that Sam loves rocks. He had fun just finding and collecting rocks. It was cute too when we were digging for trilobites, Sam gathered all these rocks and made a little rock nest. He wanted to bring all of the rocks home! Gus was in dog heaven too. He loved the open space. He just ran and ran and ran. That night, he slept really well! And, let it be forever noted, that after a long grueling game of Monopoly, a little, country girl (moi!) won! Let it also be noted that with just some property on ghetto row and some property down south, I beat my husband with the MBA and a double degree in accounting and finance! =) Also, during lunch I almost mooned all of my in-laws. I had just sat down to eat my delectable hotdog when I felt a pinching on my thigh. At first, I just thought I had a sticker or something in my pants but then it started to hurt worse and burn. I jumped up, almost pulled down my pants, but then decided it would be more appropriate to go into the trailer. Once I was in the trailer, I discovered a little red fire ant in my britches who gave me a pretty good bite. 'Ants in my pants' has a whole new meaning to me now!

(Shooting Sam's BB gun; They're doing their tough look...)

(Out on a walk).

(Digging for trilobites).

Sunday we woke up to giant, fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky. I was very glad not to be in a tent at that point! We didn't let a little cold weather and snow get in the way of our adventures, however. We decided to go for a little drive (along the way we picked up some hitchhikers even!), and went to Lehman cave. We took a tour of the cave which was really neat. I haven't been into a cave since I was a little girl. Sam seemed to really enjoy it too. One of the highlights was having a family picnic in this little cabin by Lehman cave. After that we went back to camp and played games. Let it be noted, again, that I won both Phase 10 and Pirates of the Caribbean Life! I was on a winning streak! Let it be noted that such luck will never happen again.

(This is the cabin where we ate lunch. Notice the lovely summer weather!)

(Doing lunch pioneer-style!)


Monday we mostly just packed up and headed home. By that time, Nic and I had developed a really good cold, and so we came home and just crashed. But despite the weather and being sick, we had so much fun!

(Just hanging out).

(Our wonderful chef--Uncle Steve).

(Catching tadpoles. The cousins took some home, but not poor Sam!)

Who needs Disneyland when you can have this much fun out in the middle of nowhere?!