My First Official Mother's Day

Sunday was what I consider my first official Mother's Day. It was the first mother's day in a long time that I didn't break down sobbing at some point. It was the first mother's day that I didn't have that overwhelming ache in my heart as I watched other mothers in action or listened to the children at church sing 'Mother I Love You' and wondered if it would ever be my turn. Mother's Day can be so hard if you are struggling with infertility. I said a special prayer Sunday for all of my sisters in the world who are struggling with infertility or the loss of a child. I hope they felt a little divine comfort and strength. It is still hard for me to believe that I really do have a baby--that the little guy sitting on my lap during church was mine, all mine! Then he started fussing a little, and I had to take him out, and I thought to myself, "What a privilege! A baby, even a fussing one, is such a blessing!" I hope to never take my blessings for granted.
Last year, we announced to our family that I was a pregnant. It was such a whirlwind of emotions! It is crazy to me that it was a year ago already. It is even more amazing to me that my baby is five months old already. Where does the time go? But believe me, I am cherishing every moment!
So, in honor of Mother's day, here is a list of the things I love about motherhood so far:
1. I love that Baby has a smile just for me. He has so many smiles--his mischievous smirk, his silly smile, his "He-ey" smile that he uses to flirt with girls, his making friends smile, his playing smile, and then he's got this special smile that he gives me sometimes that says, "Hey mom! I'm glad to see you!" It melts my heart every time!
2. I love that I can comfort my baby when he's upset. It's really true that sometimes moms just know how to comfort their child. I love that I can take him in my arms and snuggle him and make his world better.
3. I love how he makes me laugh. Sometimes the most random things will make him crack up--me trying to fix something on his swinging chair or the story SkippyJon Jones. Baby laughs are so contagious. Pretty soon everyone is laughing along with the baby...and I mean the hard laughing, with tears running down your face, holding your sides. My baby is a comedian. He knows just how to make us laugh, whether it's making funny sounds when he's supposed to be sleeping or the silly faces he likes to make. And I love how he can bring the goofy side out of anyone. A few minutes with Baby, and even the most serious person, finds himself dancing a jig and making a funny face.
4. I love when Baby falls asleep while I'm trying to burp him at night. He'll have his head on my shoulder, his face nestled against my neck with an arm wrapped around my neck on the other side. Sometimes after his 5:00 am feeding, I just put him in bed with me. I love how he will lie next to me and just stare at me or talk to me or curl his little, chubby fingers in my hair. Sometimes he'll bop me in the face with a stuffed animal--his way of saying, "Mom! Wake up! I'm too cute for sleeping! You're going to miss this!" And I am going to miss it one day.
5. I love listening to him in the morning on the baby monitor. Sometimes he will wake up in the morning and be perfectly content to lay in his crib and have conversations with Yeeha (his stuffed horse) or the cute, smiley baby in the little mirror in his crib or sometimes I think he's jabbering away with angels. I love hearing what he has to say. He loves to talk, that's for sure. And I especially love when I go in the room to get him in the morning, and he will give me this giant smile that just lights up the room and will start to squirm around for me to pick him up.
6. I love discovering this new world with him. Everything is new and fascinating to him. It is so amazing to me to see how he interacts with the world around him. I love seeing the world through his eyes. Fingers are fun to chew on; grass tickles your skin; Gus' lips are slobbery when you pull on them; water is fun to splash in; cereal feels weird when you goo it between your fingers; the world is truly a wonderful place.
7. I love that even though I'm learning as I go as a mommy and even though I make mistakes, Baby still loves me. I know that I don't always get it right, but I'm trying!
8. I love praying together as a family. We've added a bedtime prayer to our bedtime ritual, and it has made all the difference. I love how Baby is usually quiet during the prayer, but if the prayer gets too long, he'll let you know!
Anyway, these are just a few of the things that I love. I am so blessed!