Last Saturday, January 22, marked the six year anniversary of Gimli joining our family. Since we weren't sure of his actual birthday, we decided January 22 would be his birthday.
This post is hard. I've been wanting to write these things down for awhile, but two sentences in and I'm already bawling!
I've been thinking that in honor of Gim's birthday, I would write about how he came into our family and how he left. I know I've written about when we got Gimli, but there's always more to say.
When Nic and I were dating and when we got married, I understood that Nic was very opposed to having a dog or any pet. This was very difficult for me (almost a deal breaker). I grew up with dogs, cats, bunnies, horses...you name it! I even had pet goats, lambs, and Shetland ponies! I love animals! Nic also grew up with animals, and I'm not sure why he was so opposed to pets. I think it was a combination of losing some beloved pets and seeing some really yucky houses with pets on his mission. He also has allergies to fine, fluffy hair so that takes out many cats any fluffy dogs. When we got married, I gave away my dog, Hannah, to a good home. She had very fine, wispy hair and being around her made Nic's face puff up. Plus, she was a digger, and I worried about her getting out of the yard and running onto the busy intersection near our house. She was also narcoleptic, but that's another story...
Anyway, the day before our one year anniversary, we were busy working on our basement. A few months into our marriage, the basement decided to flood and it was time for a re-model. I was very excited to say good-bye to the stinky-boy bachelor pad and hello to a family basement! Nic's friend, Ryan, was over helping us, and they worked all day. It seems like we were going somewhere later that night, so I was taking a shower later that afternoon to get ready for the evening. As I was in the shower, I could hear some little kid talking in the backyard, but I didn't think much of it. I figured maybe it was Ryan's kids or the neighbor kids. When I got out of the shower, Nic asked me if I would come look at a jeep part he was thinking about buying. The person was at our house, so he told me to hurry and get dressed and come out front. So, a few minutes later, I traipsed outside with wet hair and no make-up to look at this 'jeep part'. I will admit that I was a little annoyed that Nic wanted me to look at it. I didn't know much about jeeps and if Nic wanted to buy a new part, I didn't have a problem with it. I couldn't see what the big deal was about me looking at it. It was probably because of my annoyance that it took me awhile to figure out what was really going on. A woman and her little girl were in the front yard with this giant, brown dog. The little girl, maybe seven or eight, was leading the dog around without any problems (this was something that really impressed Nic about Gimli). Nic complimented the dog and asked me what I thought about the dog. I don't remember what I said, something like, "He seems like a nice dog." Well, Nic kept asking me what I thought about the dog and kept asking the lady questions about him, and finally, probably tired of waiting for me to catch on, asked, "So do you think he can come live with us at our house?" I was in shock! I was finally able to get out, "Really?" And then I burst into tears. Thus, Gimli became a member of our family and Mr. No-Dogs became father to a 120 lb. indoor dog.
His original name was Butkus, after the famous football hall-of-famer, Dick Butkus. But that wasn't a name I could handle yelling down the streets or out the front door. It took us until the next day to really decide on a name--Gimli, after our favorite dwarf from Lord of the Rings.
I remember that first day, sitting on the front porch with Gimli. I told him that he was in our family now and that I already loved him. I remember I was a little nervous around him. He was the biggest dog I had ever seen, after all.
That night, we put him in his new room (the laundry room), said good-night, and closed the door. Well, Gimli didn't like being alone. He cried and cried and cried. If you want to know what it sounded like, imagine Chewbaca (from Star Wars) at a funeral. It was so sad. We tried everything. We tried ignoring him, we turned the light on, we turned the light off, we gave him a stuffed animal to sleep with, we pulled out a shirt from the laundry so he could have our 'smell'...finally, some time in the middle of the night, I noticed that it was quiet. I rolled over to tell Nic and discovered he wasn't in bed. I wandered down the hall and into the laundry room, and there was Nic and Gimli cuddled up, sleeping on a dog bed. Those two were best buds from there on out. A few nights later, Nic had to go on a business trip. I managed a couple of hours of Gimli crying until I gave up. I marched into the laundry room, grabbed the dog bed, dragged it down the hall, and put it down on our bedroom floor, right next to the bed. Gimli circled three times on his dog bed and then went right to sleep. Nic was so surprised to come home and discover that I had cured the sleeping problem...and that the dog was now sleeping in our room! That's when we learned that Gimli didn't ask for much, he just always wanted to be where we were.
And now for the good-bye...(deep breath)
The day that we scheduled to have Gimli put to sleep came way too soon. At first, Nic and I couldn't agree how we wanted it done. Nic was leaning toward shooting him, but I knew he couldn't do it, and we couldn't ask anyone else to do it. And I hated the idea of Gimli's last memory of us to be looking down a gun barrel. I wanted to have a vet put him down. However, we both agreed that we couldn't do the walking out of a vet office with our dog in a garbage bag. Finally, we came to an agreement that if we could find a vet that would come out and do it, that's what we would do. It was hard to find anyone who would make a house-call. Most vets told me to talk to Animal Control. I found a vet out of Salt Lake that would do it and scheduled an appointment. Then Nic's dad told us about the vet who took care of his horses. This vet was closer to home, so we decided to go with him. We made the appointment for Saturday morning, October ,2010. Friday night, I made Gimli steak, and the family cuddled together in the laundry room and fed him his last dinner. We had to help clean the church the next morning and that kept us busy for a little bit. Then the vet called to let us know that he was going to be late because he had an emergency call that he needed to take care of. My family came in (which meant so much to me), and we loaded everyone up and headed over to Nic's parent's house. Also the night before, Nic dug the grave. It's right by the back pasture at his parent's house. It was a hard task for Nic, but he did it with love. Anyway, until the vet arrived we (Nic's parents, my family minus Jason who had to go back to work, Nic, me, Sam, and Gimli) hung out in the front yard. We decided that it probably wouldn't be good for Gus to be there because he wouldn't understand, and it might freak him out. It was a beautiful fall day. There was a cold breeze, but I cuddled up with Gimli to keep me warm. It was nice to just visit together and remember all of Gimli's adventures.
When the vet pulled up the driveway in his truck, my stomach just dropped. I wasn't sure if I could really go through with it. Nic's mom took Sam in the house and the rest of us stayed with Gimli. The vet was so nice. He was just this young, cowboy vet. He explained the entire process to us and took the time to get to know Gimli and give him love. First, he gave him a sedative to keep him calm and keep him from feeling anything. Once that kicked in, Gimli just relaxed. Nic and I held him and loved him. We realized how much pain he had been in and how tense he was because of it. Once he couldn't feel the pain, he was like our old Gimli again, and we could love him without being afraid of hurting him. Seeing him like that was a good reminder of why we were doing this. We just couldn't keep holding on when he was in so much pain. Again, the vet was so good. He took his time and let us have all the time we needed to say good-bye. He put in the IV so that he could do the final injection. He explained to us how it would happen, that Gimli wouldn't feel a thing and would just go to sleep. Then his heart would stop, and he would be gone. We were all bawling, but it was a precious moment to be there with him until the very end. As the vet did the final injection, I noticed that there were tears falling on the needle. At first, I thought it was from Nic, but then realized that the vet was crying too. That really touched my heart because he had just met Gimli but he could see what a special dog he was and how much he meant to all of us. And then it was done, just like that. Gimli was gone. I kept waiting for him to move, to put his head on my lap for one more ear scratch. I don't know how many times I've freaked out because sometimes Gimli looked dead when he was sleeping, and I couldn't see him breathing, and then his head would suddenly pop up and his tail would start wagging. But now he was really gone. The vet gathered up his things and left. We just stood around for a little bit, and then Nic carried Gimli back to his grave. I think that that was the hardest part--seeing Gim's limp body and then seeing him at the bottom of a big hole. It was an actual physical pain in my heart.
We buried him with a blankie and his favorite Ugly Bear. I think Ugly Bear was a stuffed bear I got from the guy I went to prom with. He wasn't Ugly Bear until Gimli got a hold of him. He was Gimli's first toy, and Gim loved that bear. Ugly Bear was missing his ears, tail, nose, and an eye, and I don't know how many 'surgeries' I did on him to stitch him back up. We figured Gim would like to have Ugly Bear with him.
It was a really hard day, and remembering that day has been hard but therapeutic. Gus has had a really hard time coping. The first few weeks, he wouldn't eat unless we put food in both dog dishes, and he was constantly looking for Gimli. He still has a few quirks that I think has to do with losing Gimli. He's frantic to go for rides because I think he thinks we're going to go get Gimli. And he's extra clingy and needy these days, but I think we all are! He's really stepped up though and is trying so hard to be a good dog. And while, he won't ever replace Gimli, he is his own lovable self, and we love him.
Gimli was an amazing dog, an unforgettable best friend, and my first boy. Love you, Gimli!
