A Snippet from the Book I'm Writing...

This is the beginning from the book I'm currently working on. Let me know what you think so far!

I read somewhere that some Native American tribes used to make prisoners-of-war run the gauntlet. However, there was no running involved. It was slow, grueling, excruciating…a prisoner-of-war had to walk slowly between two lines of people, young and old, with clubs and rocks. You had to keep walking while people on all sides of you pummeled you with clubs, rocks, and their fists. If you made it through the gauntlet, you were a member of the tribe. Some made it through the gauntlet with injuries that healed over time; Others were scarred for the rest of their lives; And some didn’t make it at all. Sounds brutal, right? If you ask me, it sounds like middle school. I mean, have you ever attempted to walk down the halls of a middle school during the five minute class break? It can be brutal. Forget about tardies, most of us are just happy to be alive.

In middle school you are a part of the gauntlet many times. Sometimes you are the one running the gauntlet, just hoping to survive. Sadly, sometimes you are the one holding the club, swinging away at someone else. I wish I could say that I have never done anything to hurt someone else, but let’s face it, I’m thirteen (almost fourteen)—I think it’s in my DNA. I mean, we all come into middle school as these wide-eyed kids. The halls are so big, the cold, metal lockers, terrifying, the lay-out of the school, confusing. We are all scared and awkward together. We still say things like, “Do you want to come over and play after school?” and sometimes we accidentally call our teacher “mom”. By eighth grade, we are hardened soldiers. We’ve seen it all (or so we think). We make fun of the new little kids coming in, forgetting that it was us once, not too long ago. We wouldn’t be caught dead asking a friend to come play, instead, we say, “Do you want to hang out?” Calling your teacher “mom” would be devastating to your middle school survival, so we avoid talking to teachers altogether. By eighth grade, it’s like you lose your innocent and naïve outlook on life, and you realize that it’s all about survival. You do what you got to do to survive because, hey, it’s a jungle out there.

The Morning of the 3 P's

This is from yesterday:

This morning has been brought to us by the letter P and by the number 3...
It all started with a stinky diaper this morning. No big deal. Then we had breakfast and after that it was time for a bath. Well, while Sam was taking his bath, he pooped (P #1). He hasn't done that for a long time, so I was caught by surprise. I quickly got him out of the bath, rinsed him off, and took him to his room to get him dressed for the day. While I was getting him dressed, he puked all over himself (P #2) and thus needed another bath. Unfortunately, I hadn't cleaned up the bath tub yet, so I had Sam in the bathroom in his birthday suit while I tried to hurriedly clean up the P #1 mess. While I was cleaning up the bath tub, Sam escaped, went into the hall, and peed on the wall (P #3). What a morning! Needless to say, it took us an hour and a half just to get Sam ready for the day!

Oh Baby!

Yesterday we had the usual doctor appointment. I have to admit that I am a total doctor-junkie. Granted I don't like just any doctor, I'm into OB-GYN's! Don't worry, I'm not deranged or anything, I just love going and hearing my baby's heart beat. I like hearing a professional tell me that everything is looking good. It's addicting! And after next month's appointment, I will start the every two weeks appointments. Am I getting that far along already?

So how does this pregnancy differ from the last one? Well, while I'm doing much better now, the first trimester was a little more rough than before. Granted, I don't compare to the horror stories out there--I rarely even throw up--but I'm a bit of a drama queen and not a good sick person, so it seems end-of-the-world to me sometimes! With both pregnancies, I've had problems with my hips. Many nights my hips will wake me from a dead sleep, and I flip-flop all night like a fish out of water (or a politician, haha). During my first pregnancy, I purchased a body pillow, named Phil, that helped quite a bit. This time, Phil just wasn't doing it for me, so I purchased one of those giant 'S' shaped Boppy pillows. His name is Bob. Bob has been a life-saver! I'll still get some pain in my hips every once in awhile, but most nights I sleep very well thanks to Bob. What can I say? The hips don't lie! Poor Nic. Sometimes he has to share a bed with Bob, Phil, and Henry (my heating pad). But I always make sure I give him a kiss good-night before cuddling up with the rest of my guys!

The biggest difference is, well, I'm BIG! I remember having a little baby bump and thinking I was so huge with the first pregnancy. This time, I'm five months along and look more like seven months. This lady at church asked me if it was possible that I might be having twins. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take a comment like that! My theory is that when Sam was in the womb, he set up a really nice bachelor pad, complete with couch, love sac, big screen T.V., and possibly a wet bar. The new baby (whom we call Little Arliss) saw the 'push here' button, pushed it, and voila! Pop out condo!

So why do we call the baby Little Arliss, you ask (perhaps with concern that that might be the name we are planning on using)? Well, that is what my parents were planning on naming me before I was born. They were dead set that they were having a boy, but, fortunately, I surprised them and got out of being named Arliss.

Little Arliss is quite the active little fellow. I first felt him move on March 20th. I love feeling him punch and kick and do cartwheels. It is the best feeling in the world! Nic even felt him move a couple of weeks ago. It was one of those tender moments. Nic had his head on my lap and was talking to Arliss and all of sudden Arliss gave him a little punch on the cheek. Nic was so excited. "Was that the baby?" I nodded. I think it was a great bonding moment for Nic and the baby. We are so excited for when we'll get to meet this little guy. It will be here soon enough. Though I have to admit, I also get a little anxious on how I'm going to manage with a toddler and a newborn. We'll just have to wait and see!

Musings from Burley, Idaho

Right now I'm sitting in a hotel in Burley, Idaho. Nic is at work (this is a work trip), and Sam is hanging out with his grandpa and grandma in G-ville. We came here on Sunday and will be going home tomorrow. My parents are off for spring break and wanted Sam to come spend some time with them. I'm still trying to get over this cold and thought a little mommy vacation sounded nice. I think my parents got more than they bargained for! Little Sam is a ball of energy! He's my little Tasmanian angel. It sounds like they're having fun though. I'm so grateful for my wonderful family who are not only willing to take care of Sam for me, but also enjoy spending time with him. They are always so supportive and always there for me!
I love talking to Sam on the phone. He'll actually carry on a conversation with you. I have no idea what he's saying, but if you ask him questions, he'll tell you the wildest of stories! My mom says that they've been playing up a storm and that they're going to do Easter training--teach Sam how to search out eggs and what not. Nic and I miss having Sam with us, but I have to admit, that it has been nice to sleep in and just veg out for a couple of days. I think Nic is having a harder time than me! It doesn't help that last Sunday was Sam's first day in nursery. I missed having Sam with us for two hours and fretted about him, but Nic was practically whimpering in a corner! Sam loved nursery though. He was the only kid in nursery and so had the undivided attention of two very loving and sweet nursery leaders. He played with toys (the kitchen being his favorite), sang songs, colored (on the table more than his picture, but he's learning...), had snacks, and learned about Jesus. He didn't cry once and probably didn't even notice that Nic and I weren't there! So I think taking that big step and then leaving Sam at my parent's house on Sunday night, has been a little rough on Nic! (And I'll admit that I miss the little fella too!)

I have to admit that Burley, Idaho isn't the most exciting place on earth, but it has been relaxing. Yesterday I pretty much spent most of the day working on my on-line scrapbook for Sam. Sam's first year had to broken down into two volumes. Volume one covered my pregnancy and Sam's first seven months. It has 101 pages. Volume two will cover from July to December 2010. What can I say? I take a lot of pictures of that kid! I've got volume one done, and I'm now two months into volume two. I'm hoping to get caught up before the baby gets here, otherwise, I won't stand a chance! My goal is to do a general family scrapbook each year and an individual scrapbook for the first year for each child. I always hear how parents take lots of pictures of the first child, and then the next child and any other children get less and less. I'm hoping to keep up with things! I have my goals, but we'll have to see how things go!

Last night we went to the home of one of the lady's Nic works with. She and her husband were very hospitable and kind. The live clear out in the middle of nowhere. The two women who caught a ride with us, kept saying how they could never survive out there. Nic and I would love it! We ate hamburgers and fresh cut Idaho french fries. The french fries were seriously eight inches long! They grow some BIG potatoes out here!

I've treated today as a mini-writer's retreat for myself. I've got quite a few pages written for the novel I'm currently working on. This novel is a little difficult for me because it is a little too close to home for me. I just finished writing the first draft of a YA fantasy novel, and a lot of the writing that I do is fantasy and children's books. But I also really like memoir writing, writing about my life. Two of my favorite fictional characters are Jo March from Little Women and Anne from Anne of Green Gables. I think that the reason that I like Anne and Jo so much is because they are similar to me in some ways, and I want to be like them in others. Both are imaginative and both are writers. And both characters start out writing in these fantastical styles, both are told by men who love them to try to write from their heart, and both finally find their writing triumph when they humble themselves, search their hearts, and write from their lives. I wonder if my writing muse is trying to send me a message through these two characters. My sister and I jokingly call this story that I wrote when I was just a young pup (my first novel) "Reginald's Revenge" in honor of Anne's story, "Avril's Atonement". So I've been thinking about these things lately, and the idea for this new novel came to me one night as I was about to fall asleep. The story is about a girl learning how to be a friend to a mentally and physically handicapped girl amidst the pressures and drama of middle school. Basically, it is my coming of age story. Writing this book is forcing me re-visit many regrets and shame that I still have from middle school. But it is also helping me to come to terms with who I was then, the mistakes I made, and who I am now. It is hard to throw my young-self out there for the world to judge, but at the same time writing this book has really helped me to see how much I've grown and to find gratitude for those growing pains that have helped me to become the person that I am today. And I hope that this book will be able to reach out to other young adults and been a good influence for how we should treat others who are different from us. First, though, I need to get it written! So enough blogging! I better get back to my writing!

First Steps

First Steps

Just one step...
one little step...
come to me....
you can do it....
just...
one...
step...
Wary, careful, frugal-footed,
He shakes his head,
Drops to his knees,
And crawls away.

Just one step...
I coax,
I entice,
I cheer and chant,
But he's not buying this peddler's wares.

Just one step...
We practice,
We try,
We push and prod,
And just when I'm ready to give up,
When he thinks I'm not looking,
Out of the corner of my eye,
I catch...
Just one step...
and then another.

Super Nanny Saves the Day! (Again!)

Last Wednesday Sam got sick. It was just a cold, but our first real illness with him. We've had little things here and there--teething, an upset tummy, but this was the first actual sick day. I spent most of the day holding him and rocking him. He wasn't fussy. He was just clingy and wanted to be held. He had a runny nose and a fever and was sneezing a lot. That night I was up with him much of the night. I ended up sleeping on his floor with him which was not very fun on my sore hips, but we got through it. The next day I started to feel sick. Sam's fever was gone but he still had a runny nose and now a cough. By that afternoon, I was miserable. (It's crazy how much worse a cold can seem when you're prego!) That evening Nic was in charge, and he was the one to take care of Sam that night. It amazes me that a kid can be up most of the night but have plenty of energy the next day. That's not so much how it works with the mommy and daddy! Friday morning Nic woke up not feeling well. He still had to go to work though. I was still sick. Sam was starting to get better but still had a cough and runny nose. I knew that it was time to call in Super Nanny! Nanny Manda had to work that morning, but she arrived later Friday afternoon, and boy! were we excited to see her! Luckily, Sam had taken a long nap that afternoon, so I was able to just veg for a few hours. When Manda arrived, she got us all fed, changed a stinky diaper, and rolled up her sleeves to start taking care of us. Manda is a natural nurturer and care-taker. She's one of those Mother Theresa types--she just knows how to make you feel better. She's like a combination of Nanny McPhee and Mary Poppins (all the magic of both of them, but the beauty of Mary Poppins). When Nic got home, Manda made us dinner, and we vegged while watching Lord of the Rings. She stayed the night, and I didn't need to worry once about Sam that night, so I got a much-needed good night's rest. Then Manda took care of all of us all Saturday. By then, the cold had really hit Nic. Pretty much, I was a day behind Sam with the cold, and Nic was a day behind me. Nanny Manda stayed one more night. Watching her rock Sam that night because his coughing was making it hard for him to sleep, my heart was full of gratitude to Heavenly Father for giving me such an amazing sister. I prayed to have a little sister for nine years, and God gave me so much more than what I prayed for! We are all blessed in our family to have our Nanny Manda. It's cute to see how much Sam loves his Nanny and how much she loves him. I think they'll always have a strong bond.
When Nanny had to leave the next morning to go to church, I cried. I missed her already! She is such an amazing woman! And once again she saved the day!

Secret Dreamings and Schemings

Nic and I have this habit of looking at houses on-line and daydreaming. Don't get me wrong, I love my house. This is the home that we started out in. This is the house where we began our little family. We've put so much work into this house. I think the living room, the kitchen, and Nic's bathroom are the only rooms that I haven't really altered yet. The basement flooded our first year of marriage, and I got to get the basement I wanted--complete with my favorite wall in the entire house: the red wall. Two years ago, when I was pregnant with Sam, we totally re-did the two bedrooms, finally moving into the master bedroom and creating the perfect nursery for Sam in our old bedroom. Shortly before that, we renovated the bathroom and the laundry/dog room. We've got new windows. I love Sam's room with the green walls and farm animals smiling at me from the walls. I love that my laundry room is a light shade of violet that reminds me of Jamba juice. And this year is the year of the yard. So far Nic has ripped out the old yard and assures me that a new yard will be in place soon. I hope so. Two ducks love the pond we've created for them, but I don't think I want to send Gus and Sam out to play in the mud every day! I'm so excited to have grass and to turn these boys loose outside.
I love our neighbors, Tom and Diane. They are good people. I don't love their dogs, however. Three little weiner dogs that yap, yap, yap constantly. But Tom and Diane are good enough neighbors that I try not to throw rocks at their dogs (too often...when people are looking...). I love our neighborhood. I have some good friends living close by in this neighborhood. And it's convenient to any store, restaurant, doctor's offices, etc. that I need.
I love our ward. It feels like family, and everyone is so good to us and especially Sam. It's like we have an entire support net of grandparents, aunts, and uncles to help us raise up Sam in the right way. The ward has its quirks, but so does every ward. I've really come to feel at home here.
So, why then am looking around like I'm dissatisfied? I need room to stretch. What's the saying? You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl. I need wide, open spaces. Nic and I both grew up in a rural setting with chores to go feed the horses and such. We want our children to grow up with similar experiences. We're going to have two boys soon who will need room to grow and chores to keep them growing up strong and right. I want my children to know the value of hard work and to have a closeness with God's creations that sometimes gets lost here in the city. And I want to have horses. My friend, Janae, lives in Idaho with her family of six boys, and she posted the other day about a boy and his horse--how her oldest son has been working to break and train a horse and what a good experience that has been for him. I want that life! I'm still old school in the belief that having land is more important than having a fancy house or fancy cars. If I were a millionaire, I would want a ranch house sitting on twenty acres in the middle of nowhere. I see these multi-million dollar houses built one of top of another, all clumped together, and I don't understand it. I don't want a big house necessarily--I want a big yard to play!
With all this in mind, Nic and I often look at houses and daydream of living out in the country someday. Well, the other day we came across this house out in Wallsburg (near Heber but pretty much in the middle of nowhere). It caught our eye. Nic had work out in Heber, so while he was in the area, he took a slight detour and went to look at the house. Then he came home and told me that I needed to go out and look at it. Nic liked the community. Wallsburg has the population of about 300 people. He also liked the feeling of it. There's one little store in the town, and Nic stopped there to get a snack. The owner told him he couldn't use plastic to pay for anything under $5.00, and Nic didn't have any cash on him. The owner then said, "That's okay. Just take the candybar, and pay me back next time you come through here." Nic told him that he didn't know when he would be back and couldn't just take it. Instead, Nic ended up buying $5.00 worth of snacks! But there's still that honesty, that trust your word, good old-fashioned ethics there. Anyway, on Friday we ended up going to look at the house with our realtor friend, Tyler. It's a log home and absolutely gorgeous. Five bedrooms, five bathrooms, a good sized kitchen, a good size master bedroom, two beautiful living rooms, and three balcony decks coming off the house. And, best of all, it is sitting on five acres of pasture land. It has a beautiful of mountains and countryside. We were really impressed with everything. There's some fixer-upper things that we would need to do (as with any house), but overall we really liked the house and property.
That Sunday we went back to Wallsburg and went to church out there just to check it out and see how things felt. The people were really nice and welcoming to us. One lady, who was sitting next to us during Sacrament meeting, told us that we would actually be in the other ward and that she would find someone from that ward for us to talk to. After the meeting, she brought this young guy to introduce to us. He looked like he was maybe seventeen years old, but then the lady said, "I want to introduce you to my son who is in the bishopric of the other ward." I guess he wasn't as young as I thought! He was really nice and answered the questions that we had.
On the drive home, Nic and talked about things. We both felt good about things. Enough that the next day, Nic talked with the bank, got approved for a loan, and put in an offer for the house. It's a short sale and there is another offer on the table, so it's a long shot, but worth a try. We'll see what happens. Nic tells me that it may be awhile before we find out anything. It could be months. Months! The idea of moving is terrifying yet exciting. Nic is nervous about the finances (because that's his department of stress), and I'm nervous about figuring out the family side of things like what needs to be done to prepare for a move (because that's my department of stress), but mostly we've just kind of taken a leap of faith. We'll see what happens. As Nic put it, we've put this in God's hands but we'll work like it's in ours. The most important thing for us is being where Heavenly Father wants us and doing what is best for our family. For now, we'll explore this road and see where it leads.
The house:


The yard:

Could I live here? Why, Yes! I think I could get used to it!