A Visit with Infertile Myrtle

Long time no post! I promise that there is a post on its way that will re-cap our many summer adventures and be plumb full of adorable pictures of Sam. But right now I have other things on my mind that need to find the words. I want another baby! There, I said it. Now people are thinking, "You already have your miracle...Sam is only nine months old...just be happy with what you have...don't worry about it..." And I am so happy. Sam is the stuff dreams are made of. His personality is really starting to shine, and there are so many moments each day that he just steals my heart away. He's starting to say, "Mama" more consistently, especially when he really wants me to pick him up. (His first word was "Dada". He would babble dadadadada all the time, but one morning, I pointed to a picture of Nic and asked, "who is this?" Sam replied, "Dada". He sees Nic and says "dada" all the time now). The other day, Nic said, "That little boy is so in love with you!" And I began to notice how he watches me and listens to me and loves to be with me. He's started doing this thing now that when you hold him he will rest his head against your shoulder and pat your back with his little hand. I'm so in love with that little boy!

So, yeah, life is good. I'm happily married. I'm a happy mom. But I'm starting to get those urges for another one. I've been trying to keep it under control, not let it get the best of me. But I will admit, that lately when I start my period each month, it's disappointing. It's starting to ping at my heart again. I guess I was subconsciously hoping that now that I've had one baby, voila, my womb would be made over into this amazing baby-making machine! I loved being pregnant, and my body was good at it. There were the back aches and sore hips, but pregnancy rocked. I loved the feeling of life growing inside of me. And for the first time in my life, I felt like my body and I were on the same side, like we were friends not enemies. So I assumed that my new BFF and I had a good deal going. Not so much.

In my defense, I think these urges are from a divine source. Last Sunday, in Young Women, we had the dreaded Procreation Lesson. I was just glad that I didn't have to teach it. Anamarie taught the lesson and did an amazing job with it. It's such a difficult topic! Anyway, something that Anamarie said really stood out to me. She talked about how urges for physical intimacy are part of Heavenly Father's plan and that they can be divine, depending on how we act on them. Heavenly Father commanded all His creation to multiply and to Adam and Eve it was given the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. Who am I to resist divine urges? I want to multiply!

I want Sam to have little brothers and sisters. I have always wanted a big family. I don't know if I could wait another five years for another one. But that's what I said many years ago before Sam, and I did it. I could do it again. It took my mom five years to have me and then another nine years to finally have my sister. Nine years?! I'm 32 1/2 years old right now. That would put me at 41 years old. Yikes. Sometimes I think that maybe the Lord wants me to really focus on adoption right now. I don't know. I don't think I could go down the IVF road again. I have the plaque hanging in my dining room: "Faith in God includes faith in his timing" (Neal A. Maxwell). I just need to hang it on my heart.

Just another anecdotal Monday...

Two quick stories for the day...
A few weeks ago, Hubs' sister was in town with all of her family. They live in Washington, and it's a real treat when we get to see them. There are five kids in the family ranging from fourteen to three years old. Anyway, I'll tell more about the visit another day, but today Heidi called Hubs to inform him that her one of her little girls let out a huge belch today. When Heidi chided her, "What do you say?" She responded, "That was a good one!"
"Where did you learn that?"
"From my uncle."
Oh, the things kids learn. Hopefully, Hubs will only corrupt other children and not our own! (Just kidding!) =)

Yesterday we went to my parents-in-law for Sunday dinner. They have a bunch of wild cats around the yard along with three horses and two dogs. Well, when it was time to leave, we loaded Sam into the car and said our good-byes. When I went to shut Sam's car door, what should peer out at me from the other side of Sam? A wild cat. He hopped over Sam and jumped out of the car in a quick hurry when he saw that I had spotted him. Sam just laughed and laughed. I don't know how long the cat had been in the car, but Sam hadn't made a peep about it. I guess he thought he was getting a cat!

Sam Up-dates

Sam is quite the explorer of his New World. And he's a fast learner. He is quite speedy in rolling. He hasn't learned to crawl yet, and I don't know that he will. I think he will probably by-pass the crawling because he is so proficient in rolling. Why crawl on your hands and knees when you can roll across a room at the speed of light?! He is getting better at balancing when he sits up and when standing. We're getting there. Part of me wants to keep him as my little baby forever, but the other part of me realizes that he is growing and changing every day.
Sam is quite the busy body, always wiggling and moving around. Hubs likes to say, "Our snuggle bug has become a wiggle worm!" Sam is learning to use his hands and feet in different ways. He likes to do Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star with Nanny Manda, and it almost looked like he was waving at daddy (who was on the phone) today. He reaches up when he wants you to pick him up, and gives you hugs and kisses (very slobbery kisses, mind you!). Somehow he's figured out how to run his fingers over his lips to go, "blub, blub, blub, blub..." He likes to mimic facial expressions, especially sticking out his tongue, smiling, and blinking. This is our new game that I can do for hours, if he would let me! Sam is also quite vocal. He loves to talk and babble. I think we are getting very close to a first word. He says, "dadadada" quite a bit and sometimes teases me with a "mommma". One day when I asked him what my name is, he replied, "blah blah blah!" Fairly accurate! =)

A couple of days ago, Sam got into trouble for the first time. I was holding him, and he was mad about something, so he decided to bite me on my shoulder. He has two bottom teeth and one top tooth that are very sharp. I very sternly said, "Ouch! Sam that is bad! No! No!" He looked at me for a second, then his little chin started to quiver, and then he just started bawling. In the end, I think I felt worse for getting after him than he did for biting me!

Yesterday Hubs' aunt took us out to dinner at the Little America (a very nice restaurant) as a graduation gift for Hubs. Of course, Sam came along because he is the rock star. A little background information will help this story: First, it was a very, very nice restaurant. Second, this aunt is a very kind, generous, elderly, and well-to-do aunt. This is the same aunt who offered to let me borrow one of her real mink coats when Hubs and I got married. I couldn't do it. My luck, there would have been animal rights protesters that day and I would have returned it covered in red paint. Well, the minute the server placed my 'mixed greens' in front of me, Sam proceeded to throw up. Not just spit up, mind you. He was like this geyser. Luckily he was facing me and facing away from the aunt. So I very indiscreetly took a burp cloth out of the diaper bag and tried to casually mop off my child. Luckily earlier that day, I had put a ziploc bag (in case of emergencies!) in the diaper bag, so I put the ziploc bag on my lap and under the table and stuck the soggy burp cloth in the bag. The cloth was seriously drenched! Yuck! All was well. Hubs had seen the dilemma out of the corner of his eye and did his part of engaging the aunt in a lively conversation to distract her. Well, a few minutes later and a couple bites of salad later, Sam proceeded to throw up some more. I got out the wipies and cleaned him up again the best I could without drawing attention to us. Sam, bless his heart, wasn't upset by the puking. He just sat there in his car seat jabbering away. Then he started to fuss, and I knew it was time for him to eat. I debated whether or not to give him a bottle, but he was hungry after all. So he got a bottle/more ammunition. Just after he finished his bottle, he began throwing up again. Pretty much all through dinner and dessert the little guy was a fountain of puke. I just kept cleaning him up indiscreetly and shoving the used wipies into the ziploc bag on my lap and nodding along with the conversation. Finally, it was time to leave. The aunt was cooing over Sam, and I was just hoping she wouldn't get close enough to him to catch his delightful fragrance--parfum de upchuck. Hubs walked the aunt out to her car, and I took Sam into the very fancy bathroom and stripped him down. I put his soaked clothes into the ziploc bag, changed his diaper (which was also very stinky and messy), wiped him down from head to toe,and put him into a clean onesie. I also had to mop out his car seat and scrub it thoroughly. Needless to say, it was a nice dinner, but I was exhausted! And luckily I don't have a squeamish tummy because I was still able to finish my very expensive meal in between clean-ups. I am totally going to re-tell this story to Sam's prom date some day! =)

Image

I've been thinking about image a lot lately. I think it is because over the past few months I've been gaining weight and getting chubbier than I did when I was pregnant. Irony: When I was pregnant I lost weight. Now that I'm not pregnant, I'm consistently gaining. It is true that I don't exercise as much as I should, but I do try. I've been trying to walk to places instead of drive all of the time, and I have got to be burning calories carting Sam all over the place and cleaning the house. It is also true that I don't eat as healthy as I should, but, again, I am trying. I'm certainly doing better than when I used to teach and I would snack on whatever I could get my hands on all day long. Something that I have discovered is that those cravings you have when you're pregnant don't necessarily disappear the minute you have the baby. Sam has left me with this insatiable sweet tooth that I never had before. I used to be a salt-girl--I couldn't resist chips. Now it's sugar (and chips (but not together)). And what do all the fitness books and videos say is the number one must-go if you want to lose weight? Sugar. I used to guffaw at such things. Sugar? I don't have a problem with sugar! Now I find myself at near melt-down if there is no dessert after dinner. And the fitness experts that try to convince me that biting into a crunchy apple is just as satisfying as say a slice of cheesecake are lying...perhaps a white chocolate and caramel covered apple!
Anyway, I'm feeling fat. And I'm feeling self-conscious about all sorts of silly things like the fact that lately my slightly crooked teeth are looking more crooked. Hubs says that I should look into getting braces if it is bothering me. I explained to him that I've already had braces once, and I'm not doing THAT again! I'm thinking of looking into that invisalign. And then there are those darn stretch marks that are still bright red and make it look like a) a wild animal with long, sharp claws attacked me, b) I am turning into a giant albino watermelon, or c) I am wearing a nude colored blouse with red zebra stripes. I don't know, maybe I'm just going through a phase. I know that Hubs loves me no matter what I look like. And Sam definitely loves me no matter what. In fact, the goofier I look, the better! I've heard a lot about a talk at the last BYU Women's conference that has been echoing through my head lately. Granted this is all information three or four times removed, but the speaker talked about how a man will stand in front of a mirror with his gut sticking out and think, "Man, I look good!" And a woman will stand in front of a mirror and pick out every imperfection and totally berate herself. I realize that I need to be kinder to myself, cut myself some slack. I did have a baby, after all, and that is no easy task for the old bod. But I'm also me, so I've been putting together an information packet/binder on feeling better about my body and improving my body. You would probably think I'm crazy if you could see all of the binders I've put together (I'm just realizing that it's kind of my thing-I research things and make binders for my research)--pregnancy, parenting tips, hair styling, crafts, recipes, writing...my life is a binder! I re-read the last statement and it sounds like I'm really organized, but, sadly, that is not the case. I think I have a binder on how to be more organized! Anyway, back to the body thing. I want to be fit and healthy for Sam. I want to be able to do things with him. To be honest, I want to have another baby soon and would really like to be in good shape for another pregnancy. I want to look good for Hubs. And, most of all, I want to be fit for me! I deserve it!
So I'm starting a new plan for the summer to get in shape. I'll give more details as I go. Here's a website and article that I'm starting with: http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Health--Fitness/Love-Your-New-Mom-Body. It all begins with attitude. I need to have a better attitude towards myself and my body. I need to set realistic goals. It's a start at least!

Growing Up

My little guy is growing up. And we're quickly learning that every milestone comes with some good and some bad. (By the way, I've decided to just use the baby's name, Sam. It makes it so much easier! Anyway...) For example, earlier this week I was rubbing Sam's gums and I ran across his first tooth. It hasn't quite broken all the way through the surface, but I can feel the little jagged edge of it poking through his little baby gums. This is a very exciting. For a mom who is passionate about food, this will be a fun adventure of introducing new foods to him and helping him to experience new flavors. I tried to give Sam one of those baby biscuits a couple of weeks ago and discovered that he can still bite off pieces of things even without teeth. So all solid foods are eaten in one of those mesh things. Sam does seem to share my love for food though. He is a voracious eater and has generally liked anything I put before him. Now for the downside, new tooth equals crankiness. Now, I've heard horror stories, and I have to admit, Sam isn't really that bad. He gets a little fussy now and then but not the hours of screaming that people speak of. But I can tell that it bothers him, and he will have sudden bouts of crying. How traumatizing that must be for a baby--such betrayal. The happy place where food goes in, that tastes everything, is suddenly an owie place! Last night he was really having a hard time, so I ended up sleeping on the nursery floor with him. We cuddled up and that seemed to comfort him. Though, I woke up at one point and Sam had the entire pillow and all of the blankets! Takes after his dad! Well, one tooth down (close, anyways) and--how many teeth do babies get?--more? to go!

Another milestone is that Sam has discovered rolling. I was starting to wonder if he would ever be a roller. He doesn't like being on his belly that much and is usually content just to be on his back. He has demonstrated that he can roll over (Nanny Manda calls him a one-trick pony: He does it once to show that he can then that's it!), but has been more of a scootcher, pushing himself around on his back with his legs (thus the rug burn/bald spot on the back of his head). However, just the other day, I came in to get him out of bed in the morning and he was on his belly. I thought this was cute but didn't think much of it. Then later that day, he rolled across his nursery. Suddenly, he's a traveler. I realize that I probably can't take naps with him on my bed anymore (yesterday morning I woke up to Sam wrestling with the pillow that I put on the edge of the bed to keep him safe. It looked like Sam was winning). This also means that Sam tends to wake himself up at night when he rolls himself into a corner of the crib and gets stuck. Too soon, he'll be able to pull himself up to standing! Yikes!

Well, since I've decided to reveal the baby's name, I might as well explain a little about his name. First of all, it's a family name which makes it special. He also has two middle names--the names of both of his grandpa's. But I also liked the name because it means 'God heard' and Sam is definitely an answer to our prayers like Samuel was an answer to Hannah's prayers in the Bible. There is a painting by Elspeth Young that I want to own someday called For This Child I Prayed. There are so many women in the Bible like Hannah and Abraham's Sarah that I can relate to and who inspire me.

You can go to alyoung.com to learn more about the painting. It's interesting all the symbolism that he put into the painting. I especially like this part: "Hannah also wears white, symbolic of her faith and purity. The brightly colored wrap she wears warmly enfolds herself, and visually touches the child as well, symbolizing the influence of a righteous mother in the life of her child." I hope that I am a righteous mother!

Memorial Day weekend

Here's some pictures from our camping trip over Memorial Day weekend. We were in the middle of nowhere--believe me, we had to drive over an hour to get a cell signal. There was a whole lot of sage brush, rocks, dirt, horny toads, and some slithery things that I would rather not think about. That was about it. But we had so much fun!

Flying kites!

The pinwheel kite was giving us problems, but after some crafty engineering, we got it to work!


Can you see the garbage bag handle and the rock tail? Surprisingly, it worked!


It is always good to be with family! Here are some family pics of us just hanging out.






Digging (and in the baby's case, eating) for trilobites. Papa J should have been an archaeologist!

Random Thoughts and Catching-up

I just got back from an end-of-the-year teacher luncheon at my old school. It was so good to see my old friends again. It's strange to think how that was my life not so long ago. It seems like ages ago though. Sometimes I wonder if this is how soldiers who are home feel. They're happy to be home but then your fellow soldiers are still out there on the front lines and part of you feels like you should be there too, helping somehow.
Some things never change though which is comforting in a way. There's still the same challenges and still many of the same jokes. There will always be that student that everyone talks about: "One more day with that kid, and I would have strangled him..." But also the made-it-all-worth-it kids. I've been going through my stuff, trying to get organized, and I came across some of my old notes from students (I save everything, to the chagrin of my husband). It was good to read through some of the notes and remember the good times. It helped me to realize that I did make a difference for some kids. Sometimes I wonder if in eight years of teaching, if I really did make much a difference. The notes helped me to see that I did make a difference in my own way. It's like the starfish story where the grandpa and his grandson are walking along the beach and the little boy keeps throwing starfish back into the ocean. When the grandpa tells the little boy, "Look at all of the starfish on this beach. You're not going to make much a difference," the little boy responds by holding up one starfish and throwing it into the ocean and saying, "Yeah, but I made a difference for that one."
Anyway, life is good. It certainly isn't boring. The main reason I've been organizing lately is because my office flooded. Apparently a new rain gutter we had installed last year empties right into our window well. With the really wet weather we've been having, the window well has been filling up and emptying into my office. Thus, we had to empty out my office and will probably need to get new carpet and re-paint it. I wanted to re-paint my office anyway, but it was not good in that it looks like my office exploded across the basement and a little upstairs. What was once tucked away in my office, is now on Hub's radar. "Man! You have a lot of stuff!" is what I've been hearing, and then, "You need to clean out your stuff..." And I have to admit it, he's right. I have so much stuff. Don't be surprised if you see me on the next episode of that show about hoarders! So little by little, I've been cleaning, organizing, DI-ing, and throwing things out. Fun!

As for our big news, Hubs just graduated with his MBA last month. I am so proud of him. It has been a crazy two years with school, work, church stuff, every-day life stuff, and then our wonderful new addition. Hubs had finals shortly after Baby arrived. Now that was fun! The result was the lowest grade he had ever gotten. But as a good friend said, "C's get degrees!" But Hubs worked hard and now is a mighty graduate! I tease him that I'm going to get my doctorate so that on the Christmas cards I can write Dr. and Mr. J. That would be awesome. Plus, there is this doctorate program in Creative Writing that I would absolutely love! Sometimes I also want to go back to school and get a Master's in social work and do some counseling. For now, we're just glad to have our daddy back. Though it's crazy that once you take something off of your plate, how quickly that spot fills up again! But like I said, I'm so proud of Hubs. He is a good example for our little boy!
Notice the maniacal look of Hubs. This is how you look after finally getting your MBA!
Baby S, Hubs, and Papa J.
As for Baby S. He is growing and learning by leaps and bounds. At his 6 month dr.'s appointment last week he was in the 10th percentile for weight, 40th percentile for height, and 94th percentile for head circumference. Who is this skinny, tall baby? If it weren't for the big noggin' and Fred-Flinstone feet, I would wonder if he had been switched at birth. Well, and he is an exact replica of Hubs! Baby is totally into solids now. Among his favorites are green peas (surprising to me for some reason), carrots, and sweet potatoes. He still has a milk allergy, so he's still drinking soy formula. Whenever I try to give him milk based formula, he breaks out in a rash and pukes it all out. Just today I put a little bit of vanilla ice cream on his binky and he instantly broke out in a rash. But, the doctor says he'll probably grow out of it eventually. I'm starting to get used to the smell of soy anyway. He really packs it in with the solid food though. The first couple of times, I would just give him the small jars, but he would polish those off and still want more, so now we're eating entire big jars of baby food plus 4-5 ounces of bottle afterward. He's a skinny baby but he does have a little belly pooch going on!


I am amazed at how smart he is. Before the appointment, he would go to bed around eight and then wake up around 4:30 or 5:00 a.m. to eat. The doctor told us that he should be fine to go all the way to six and to push him towards that time. Well, he must have heard the doctor because he slept until six that next morning and has pretty much been sleeping in until six or later since. It has been so nice to get a full night's sleep again. Though before when he would wake up at five and eat, he would go back to bed until eight. Now he's up for good when he wakes up. Oh well, I'll take it! And he's an awesome napper. He usually takes pretty long morning and afternoon naps, 1-3 hours, and he goes down for a nap really well. I just put him in his crib after he's been awake for a couple of hours, and he goes to sleep. How did I get such a good baby? I'm wondering if this is a bad omen for the toddler years though...can such goodness last? He is so inquisitive and loves to explore everything around him. The other day, I had him on the floor while I was working on the computer. I had dumped out all of these toys for him to play with. Pretty soon I could here all of these noises. I looked over and he had rolled closer to his crib and was trying to lift the box to his Baby Einstein activity center. He had more fun with that box. Later on, I think we'll make it into a rocket ship or a race car or a ship or something. And I don't care what people think, I'm just giving him cardboard boxes for Christmas this year. He'll love it!

Baby S in his Baby Einstein activity center, which, for the record, requires an Einstein-IQ to assemble. The instructions are all of these stick-figure drawings. What?! I kept wishing that they would just use their words!
A few weeks ago, we went to a old-school rock crawl competition in Delta. This is our friend Clay competing.
This is what Baby S did while Uncle Clay competed:
(No offense, Clay, but maybe you could turn up the excitement a notch...) =)
Baby S being Baby S! He is such a character. By the way, the adorable Winnie the Pooh outfit was purchased for him by his grandma and mom while mom was still in high school. To say I've been wishing for this little guy for awhile is an understatement! =)
Last weekend we took Baby on his first camping trip. It was kind of impromptu--we weren't planning on staying the night, but we ended up crashing in Aunt Holly's motor home along with everyone else in the family! It was crowded but a fun adventure. Baby loved being outside. His cousins even caught horny toads for Baby S to pet. He liked that, though I think he wanted to eat them! It was a fun little mini-vacation! I'll see if I can get some pictures posted from that soon (once I get them downloaded off of the camera).
Anyway, that's about it for now. Every day is an adventure, that's for sure!