A Birth Story

Mark Emmitt Clay
born August 23, 2011
7 lbs 4 oz, 20 inches long

It has been a month since baby Mark was born, but here is the story of his grand entrance into the world (to the best of my recollection).

Let's begin this story the day before his birth. It was August 22nd, and I was a hormonal, emotional wreck. Because my little brother was getting married on Sept. 9th and giving me only two weeks from birth to wedding, and because Sam had shown up after his due date, we decided to induce on our due date. We could have been induced a week earlier, but I wanted to give the baby his full time in "Casa de Mama". For some reason, knowing the date and time of going into labor was really freaking me out. The baby was following the same patterns as Sam did in his final weeks...basically my boys like my luxurious womb (I'm pretty sure there is a big flat screen in there along with a Love Sac and possibly a pingpong table, thus explaining my enormous belly), and aren't in any rush to drop down and get into position for birth. Back to the emotional wreck. Nanny Manda was witness to my wreckage. She had arrived the week before to stay with us and help take care of Sam. I think she ended up taking more care of me! A bit of advice--the post-partum chapter in What to Expect When You're Expecting that everyone tells you not to read until after you have the baby should really not be read before you have the baby. I read it the day before and suddenly all the memories of the 'after' having a baby came flooding back. So the silly thing was I wasn't terrified about the labor and delivery (give me an epidural, and I'm fine), but instead, terrified about all the after stuff. I was a walking zombie after I had Sam. I was really sore, sleep deprived, and completely shell shocked by the big changes in my life. I think quitting my job as a teacher and becoming a stay-at-home mom was a bigger adjustment than I had anticipated. And I think I had some bouts of post-partum depression that manifested as paranoia to leave the house and insane insecurities about my abilities to be a good mother. And did I mention that I was really, really sore?

Anyway, these memories left me sobbing at the kitchen table on and off through out the day. I remember touching my giant belly through out the day and thinking, "In ____ hours I am going to meet this little guy". It was hard to think about anything else. I also kept hoping that I would just go into labor naturally, but that just wasn't happening. For my last supper as a pregnant woman, Nanny made us Hawaiian Haystacks (yummy and light), and then we spent the evening watching Soul Surfer and trying really hard not to think about the next day.

D-day: August 23, 2011
I had to call the hospital at 7:00 a.m. to find out if they had room for me to come in and to find out what time to come in. They told me to come on in. I got up and quickly got ready. It was so surreal to think that I was getting ready to go have a baby. And I remember not being very patient with Nic. It seemed like it was taking him forever to get ready! Nic gave me a priesthood blessing and then we said an emotional good-bye to Sam. The poor kid was probably so confused by all the tears. It was scary and exciting for me to think about how our little family of three was soon going to be forever changed.

We arrived at the hospital, and I continued to feel like I was in this surreal state of mind. It was so weird to think I was casually going to the hospital to have a baby much like if we were going out to grab a bite to eat. We got checked in, I changed into the figure-flattering hospital gown, and we were ready to go, physically anyway. First thing up: the IV. The first attempt, the nurse, Heather, struggled to find a good, strong vein. I have the worst veins! And I am a wuss. The second attempt was successful until I jerked my hand away and pulled out the IV. On the third attempt, we got it and I held really still. But then I started to feel really woozy. I told Heather that I didn't feel very good. The last thing I remember was her saying something about a cool washrag. The next thing I remembered was waking up with a cool washrag on my head, and Nic saying something about not falling off the bed. Apparently I went as white as the sheets and passed out. "Great!" I thought. "If I can't even handle the IV, how I'm going to deal with the labor?!"

I was hooked up to the monitors to watch my heart rate and the baby's. And they began the Pitocin. Around noon, they broke my water. That was such a weird experience because I think my water didn't break until I was pushing with Sam. It just felt like I was continually peeing my pants. I kept apologizing to the nurse because I wasn't sure that I wasn't. She kept reassuring me that I was fine and that it was all part of her job. Wow, nurses are incredible people! I can't imagine dealing with what they deal with on a daily basis!

Shortly after that, the anaesthesiologist came in to do my epidural. She was good at what she does! I was a little nervous about the epidural and was trying to decide if I should wait until the contractions got a little stronger before getting the epidural. I remember with Sam that the contractions were painful enough to distract from getting a huge needle in my back. But once I was dilated to a three, I decided that that was enough. I was starting to remember just how bad contractions get as you climb that dilation scale and decided that I really didn't want to feel that again. We explained to the anaesthesiologist what happened the last time with my heart rate dropping and me passing out, we told her that I had already passed out once that day, and she put together my very own special "starter" epidural that worked perfectly. No passing out and no pain. Yay! After the epidural was in place, we began our waiting game.

Our nurse, Heather, was amazing! She was a lot of fun, encouraging, and calming. She was spunky and kept giving us a hard time because we didn't have a name for the baby yet. She was sure that the baby didn't want to come out because we didn't have a name for him. "I'm just going to call the little guy Mutt then!" She told us and then spent the rest of the time cheering Mutt on to make his big arrival. However, the baby had other plans. Every time I would have a real strong contraction, the baby's heart rate would drop. I felt like that scene from E.T. where Elliott and E.T. are both sick. Just before the baby's heart rate would drop, I would feel a little woozy and my heart rate would go down a little. We ended up decreasing and increasing the Pitocin over the next several hours. Once again, we were going for a longer labor.

Nic's parents dropped in a couple of times during that time and my mom was there. Nanny Manda was home with Sam waiting for the cue to come to the hospital. My doctor's office is on the third floor of the hospital, so he was able to drop in occasionally and check on me. Mostly, we just sat there and waited. I was feeling anxious about the baby. I didn't like watching his little heart rate drop so much. I just wanted him to come out and to know that he was okay.
At some point, Nic and his dad gave me a blessing. It was interesting because with Sam, I was given a blessing and instantly things started to working out and Sam was ready to come out. This time, however, it wasn't an instant answer. But I did receive instant comfort and strength. We still had a bit of a long road ahead of us, but I knew that it would all be okay. Another interesting fact: the most recent scripture story I had read was in Mosiah in the Book of the Mormon where it talks about two different groups of people that were in bondage. One group prayed to escape from bondage and were immediately given divine help to escape. The other group also prayed to escape bondage but instead of immediate delivery (I could make a pun here with my situation that I'm comparing to...), "the Lord did ^astrengthen them that they could bear up their ^bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with ^cpatience to all the will of the Lord." Through the rest of the delivery, I still worried when I would see the baby's heart rate go down, but I also just felt a great peace that we were being watched over.

Finally, around 6:00 p.m., the doctor and nurse decided to try and challenge the baby. We would keep the Pitocin and contractions going and really watch the baby's heart rate. Everything really picked up at this point. The doctor decided we were going to need to use the baby vacuum and so all of a sudden all this equipment arrived in the room. Kind of a funny story--I had decided when I first found out that I was pregnant, that for the delivery, I just wanted Nic, me, and the hospital staff in the room. I didn't want any family in the room, because I wanted some time with the new baby, just us. I had informed all of our family of this plan, but I think my mom was trying to override it. When things were starting to pick up, I noticed her sitting quietly to the side. I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I also really wanted the time alone with the baby. So I told Nic to tell her that she needed to leave (the joy of delegation!). Nic turned to my mom and said, "Mom, you've been voted off the island!" I had thought he would have done it a little nicer! Oh well. My mom looked slightly irked, but she left. The doctor told me to push while he tried to position the baby and bring him down. So I did some pushing. The doctor did one little suck with the vacuum, and suddenly told me to stop pushing. Apparently, the baby was out! While I thought we were still just positioning, I delivered the baby. He just popped out after only ten minutes of pushing. We discovered the reason that he didn't want to drop down and why his heart rate kept dropping was because his umbilical cord was wrapped twice around his neck. Whenever a contraction would push him down, it would tighten up the cord. What a miracle that he came out okay! Nic cut the cord and then we got to cuddle with our new beautiful baby and take some pictures. He was such a beautiful baby. Baby Arliss was born with a head full of platinum blonde hair. All of the nurses kept commenting on his hair. I guess it's common for dark haired babies to have lots of hair, but not blondies. Nic says that he was born already needing a haircut!
Heather ran interference for us with the anxious family outside the door by telling them that the room needed to be cleaned up before anyone could come in. Nic and I spent half an hour with our new son just loving him and welcoming him to the world. It was wonderful! We sang I Am a Child of God to him and told him all about his new family. It's always such a surreal experience to meet your baby for the first time, to meet the little one who has been growing and kicking and wiggling inside of you for the past few months. And you really can feel the bits of heaven still clinging to a new baby. It's hard to describe the feeling. And it's amazing the love that you feel. I mean I love Nic so much and I love Sam with all of my heart and somehow I love this new little guy with all of my heart too. You never realize how much you can love until you're holding that new little one in your arms.



Pretty soon it was time to introduce the baby to his family. Once they were allowed in, they exploded in! Both sets of grandparents were there along with Nanny Manda and Sam. Sam wasn't too sure of what to make of all of it. He was happy to see Nic and me again and was really clingy with me. He could tell something big had happened. He just wanted to sit on my lap and be held. At first, he really didn't want to have anything to do with the baby. Then he wanted to hold him, but only for two seconds. Then he would yell out, "Noooooo! Mommy!" So he might not look too excited in those first family pictures. After the initial meeting, Sam discovered there were lots of buttons to push in the room, so he was a happy camper again.

After the family left, Nic's brother, Mark and his wife, Elivania, showed up for a visit. It was fun to introduce the baby to his namesake. We had decided at the beginning of my pregnancy that we wanted to include Mark's name in the baby's name. We hadn't decided on any of the particulars yet, but we did get to tell Uncle Mark that this new little guy was going to be named after him. I think that Uncle Mark was thrilled (though Uncle Mark's thrilled is hard to recognize--he has a great poker face!). Once they left, we gave the baby his first bath. This was around 11 pm, and we were all exhausted at this point. Heather was so sweet. She stayed hours after her shift was over just to make sure the baby was okay and to make sure we were all set up and good to go. Nic finally left to go home and take a shower. He was planning on coming back, but ended up falling asleep laying across the bed with one shoe on and the other still in his hand and didn't make it back until the morning. Because Sam had ended up in the NICU, I was determined to have the baby with me in the room the entire time this time around. But then I ended up being so exhausted and he kept choking on left-over amniotic fluid, so the nurse asked me if I wanted to send him to the nursery, and I conceded. We were all pretty much exhausted from such a long, wonderful day!

So that's about it. That's the baby's birth story. Here's just a couple of highlights from our hospital stay though:
-Nic attended a breastfeeding class with me the next morning, and I really feel like that made such a difference. Baby and I were able to get off to a great start with nursing, and I think Nic's support and help was a big factor in that.
-We loved all the family and friends who visited. We had so much fun showing off our new little one!
-The hospital gave us a fancy dinner one night with a decorated table, good food, and carbonated apple juice in champagne glasses to celebrate our new baby.

-ALL of our nurses were AWESOME. We didn't have even one not-nice nurse.
-And, of course, the photographer came around to take the baby's picture, and we ended up spending lots of money because 1) hospital baby pictures have come a long way since the baby mugshots of my day, and 2) our baby is absolutely adorable!

--The naming of the baby was quite the process. In fact, we ended up staying at the hospital two hours after we were discharged because we couldn't leave without giving them the baby's name for the birth certificate. We wrote down the names on the nurse's white board in the room and slowly whittled the list down to the top ten and then the top five and then the top three. It was quite the ordeal. Like I mentioned earlier, we knew we wanted to name the baby after his Uncle Mark and we knew we wanted to name him after his Uncle Clay (our good friend who is more like family). With Sam, we gave him two middle names, after both grandpas, because we wanted to honor both grandpas and weren't sure if we would have anymore children. We decided that having three names will be our own little tradition in our family. And so we needed a third name for the baby. We finally decided on Mark Emmitt Clay. Emmitt isn't a family name or anything; it's just a name we liked, and I like that it gives the baby a little bit of his own uniqueness. I think Sam's name sounds like a politician or lawyer or something like that. Mark's name sounds like a movie star. We'll see someday! For now, he is my little movie star, and my wonderful, sweet miracle.


Going home:

When we got home, we were surprised to find that Nanny Manda and Sam had decorated the front yard to welcome us home and had gifts and balloons for the new baby.