Heartache for a Friend

**Warning: Please don't read this if you are pregnant!**

A couple of weeks ago, the Friday before Valentine's day, I was playing in the nursery with Turkey and I got a heart breaking text from one of my really good friends, Lo. She was 7 months pregnant and expecting a little girl. She's the friend that I used to live with before I got married and with whom I got all my cute maternity clothes. We're exactly the same height and everything so clothes sharing works really well for us. Anyway, the text said that she had lost her baby. News like that hits you like a bag of bricks. I was dumbfounded and didn't know what to say. I texted her back asking her what I could do for her and telling her that I was so sorry. She was at the hospital then and said she would let me know if she needed anything. I found out later that this is what happened:
On Friday, she went to work as usual. After work she had her usual doctor's appointment. She had to take her 18 mo. son with her to this appointment and so as the doctor begin her exam, she was busy keeping her son entertained. So she didn't notice at first that the doctor suddenly seemed a little anxious and that something might be wrong. But then she did notice that the doctor was acting funny and he asked her if she had felt the baby move that day. She remembered feeling the baby the night before but couldn't remember if she had that day. I remember how it was when I was pregnant. Sometimes you don't notice the movement during the day when you're busy doing stuff. Anyway, so the doctor then did an ultrasound but still couldn't find a heartbeat. He then sent Lo down to do some other kinds of tests. At this point she was really starting to freak out but was trying to be calm for her little boy. She called her husband and told him to get there as soon as he could. They did the other tests and found that the baby had died. I can't even imagine getting that kind of news.
I remember when I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant, I had a really scary incident when I freaked out because I hadn't felt my baby move. It was the day of parent-teacher conferences and I had got up like normal. Usually in the morning when I would get out of bed and get ready I would feel the baby moving, but that morning I didn't feel anything. I didn't think to much about but after I ate breakfast I still didn't feel anything. I then ate something really sugary because the usually would make the baby move around. Still nothing. Hubs was out of town so I didn't know what to do. I decided to go to work and pay close attention to things. By the end of 2nd period I still hadn't felt anything and I was a wreck. My good friend and neighboring teacher told me to call my doctor so I did. The doctor told me that if I was really concerned that I needed to go to the hospital and do a baby no-stress test. So I told my friend this and he told me to go and that he would take care of my classes and not to worry about any of that. I went and told my principal that I was leaving and sat and bawled in his office for a few minutes. As I was leaving the school, I ran into the mom of one of my former students. She was so sweet. I was a hysterical mess at this point, and she offered to drive me to the hospital. I assured her that I could manage and that I would be okay. She would later bring me flowers at parent-teacher conferences and has also bought some cute gifts for Turkey. She is such a sweetheart--another one of those angels that Heavenly Father puts in your path just when you need them. Anyway, I drove to the hospital. While I was driving, I called Hubs and bawled to him. He was so upset because he wasn't there for me and was so far away (I think he was in Las Vegas or New Mexico for work at that time). He offered to call his mom or sister or my mom, but I didn't want to panic anyone else. It was funny because when I got to the hospital there was a woman in labor who came in at the same time. She was all calm and collected while I was a basket case. We got to the counter and she said very matter-of-factly "Excuse me, I'm in labor..." While I tried to sob out what I needed. The nurse asked me if I was in pain and I answered, "I don't feel anything. That's the problem!" They got me into a room, I changed into a hospital gown, and they got me hooked up to the monitors. The sweetest sound ever was when I heard that heartbeat. The nurse said, "There he is." And I completely broke down. I was so relieved. Apparently he had turned in such a way that when he kicked, I couldn't feel it. He would kick and the nurse would show it to me on the monitor but I couldn't feel it. It was so comforting to me that day to lie there for over an hour just listening to my baby's heart beat. The nurse offered to turn on the T.V., but I just wanted to listen to my baby. It was the scariest moment of my life, but in my case it turned out okay. In Lo's case, it didn't. She told me she even remembered my experience and used that to calm herself before she did the tests. I feel so bad for her.
It makes me think of how scary pregnancy is. You have so many anxieties and worries. Pregnancy really is a walk of faith. Every day you have to have faith that whatever happens is in God's hands. You really have no control of that little life inside of you. Lo says that they were never able to find out what caused her baby to die. They have had to just accept that it was a spiritual thing and God's will for that baby. She said that trying to figure out the why just tears them a part, so they've had to let go of figuring out the why and just have faith.
She delivered her little girl on Valentine's Day after 36 hours of labor. I can't imagine going through labor and not having a healthy, happy baby at the end of it all. Lo says that the labor kind of helped though because she could scream and cry and vent her emotions during it. The baby was born at a little over 3 lbs. and 19 inches long. She was fully developed and beautiful. There is a group of people that specialize in photography of stillborns. I think that these are amazing people. They come and take pictures and offer comfort all at no cost. So Lo has some pictures and had the opportunity to hold her baby's body. Another woman went through this and makes these binders with information, poems, and quotes for other women who go through it. A ward made these beautiful baby blankets for families of stillborns. So many people do incredible things. Lo had a small family funeral for her baby and is now just trying to recover physically and emotionally.
I really can't imagine what she is going through. When I got that first text, I just held Turkey in my arms and cried. Things like this really remind me how blessed I am to have Turkey. I don't know why some babies live and some don't, but I know it's all part of an eternal plan. I really believe that Lo's baby will never be far from her in this life and that she will have the opportunity to raise her baby in the next. But it's still so sad. My heart aches for her and for anyone who has to go through something like this. It also reminds me not to take for granted the wonderful blessings I have in my life. The next time I am complaining about my trials, I hope that I can remember that my trials are designed exactly for me and that I definitely wouldn't want another's trials! Please just remember my friend, Lo, and her family in your prayers!